Hello bloggy friends. Praise God I have awoken today renewed. It's as though my tears watered a fresh crop of hope and faith in my heart. Thank you Jesus! All I can say is it's a true blessing from Him.
I received much comfort from my loving husband who was so tender with me yesterday despite his own immense sadness. He encouraged me with so much gentleness and truth. What a man!
You know that YG family I posted about two posts ago? They rallied around us like you cannot imagine. We had notes coming out our ears. On Facebook, on Twitter, right here on my blog. Next, came our church family. Many of whom sent notes, left comments, sent emails and ecards. How can a girl feel sorry for herself when she's got so many beloved friends encouraging her like that. I shared all the notes with Dustin and he agreed that everyone's prayers and encouragement was a healing balm applied straight from God's own hands to our hearts. Thank you to everyone who was a part of that! We love you!
Dustin and I prayed for ALL the children in Ethiopia last night with the same fervor we prayed for our own son. We prayed for all the families with AWAA no matter where they stand in the process. Because of that alone I feel like fruit has been born out of having to wait longer. Praise God. I can do trials as long as God gives me those little crumbs to follow (and He always does) on His trail of blessing, those tidbits that keep me moving along in Him.
It's been my experience that God builds in my life like a mason. It seems He layers prayers, truths and experiences in my life. Building upon foundations He may have set many months, sometimes years in advance. What can I compare it to? Well, ever been in a big city? One, say, like Chicago? Have you tried to take in the Sears Tower from the ground level standing at the front entrance? If you have you probably can still feel the pain in your neck. It's nearly impossible to view the whole picture from the foot of the massive tower. You need a little distance between yourself and it to really take in the grandeur. As you walk further away from the building more of it comes into view making it easier to grasp the whole picture.
That's how it seems to go in my relationship with Jesus. For many years I've been standing next to the Lord while he lovingly slapped mortar on the bricks of my life and stacked them. Sometimes I been able to see the purpose for which those particular bricks were laid. Other times I've not understood the reasons at all. For years now I've been witnessing construction of some sort. Many times over the years I've also found that the enemy has tempted me to look at the brick wall in front of me and think that it was simply that, a brick wall.
I am thankful to say that the Lord has awakened me this morning with a fresh perspective. He's bid me to take a few steps back. To revisit some of the prayers I've prayed in my heart and some of the ways He's answered them. He's called me to examine more intensely His handiwork layer after layer. What has begun to come into view is a project SO GRAND I could never have imagined it's consequence. We're talking a large scale, Wonder of the World, kind of project.
I am unashamed to say that I've prayed some pretty grand scale prayers these recent few years of my life, and that I am convinced God is not afraid to answer them. In fact, I believe He's gone about answering them from the moment I prayed them. He's been working faithfully on days when I could recognize His efforts, on days I forgot to consider His efforts, on days I didn't like what His efforts were producing in my life, and even on days I rejected His work outright. I am sorry to say that in the space between the prayer and the fulfillment of the answer I have been easily led into disbelief and mistrust at times. I am guilty of trading faith and trust for immediate gratification, something my flesh could cling to and grab on tightly to right away instead of waiting for the fulfillment of my hopes and clinging to Christ alone.
Today I am so humbled and thankful for the attitude adjustment which came riding on the back of a disappointment that blind sided me ( I fully expected to pass court, folks, despite every natural inclination which told me that it was not a helpful thing to convince myself of) As I've said, God has used the turn of events to invite me to take some steps back. I've been able to see the work in progress. I can see how wonderful an Architect He is. I may still not be able to fully comprehend what the finished product will look like but I can at least catch a glimpse of how much of God's glory is in the thing. I can see that it's clearly not about me anymore. The thing is WAAAAY over my head at this point.
I have been given this morning the opportunity to walk back up to the bricks in front of me and look more closely at their purpose. I can recall the glimpse God gave me from a distance and realize that this brick named WAITING which has taken up so much of my view supports another brick to come. One I haven't dreamed of or imagined at this point. Many bricks will follow. Imeasurably more. That's a promise and I am glad for it.
God be glorified!
2 Peter 3:9- The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
Isaiah 62:6 & 7 (emphasis mine)- O Jerusalem, I have posted watchmen on your walls; they will pray day andnight, continually. Take no rest, all you who pray to the Lord. Give the Lord no rest until he completes his work, until he makes Jerusalem the pride of the earth.