My blog has moved!
You should be automatically redirected in 2 seconds. If not, visit
http://www.beboldjen.com
and update your bookmarks.
I'm reminded of this guy today:
I've spent more time listening to Francis Chan from Cornerstone Church. I'm back round to a teaching I listened to last year. Francis's teaching called Who's The Cult (4/19/09) rocks my world every time. Lots to chew on with this one; lots of actions to be made in response. Gotta get real and ask myself again how I'm doing with the "one anothers".
Anyone who knows me in real life knows I'm super forgetful. I don't know what the deal is. Obviously I can be thoughtful at times but there's a whole other side of me that is absolutely out to lunch. I mean it.
So, when I decided to start up a Wednesday Bible study group and commit to memorizing the book of James (Yes, you read that right, THE ENTIRE BOOK of James) for the purpose of hiding the word in our hearts and developing a new discipline, I was excited but lacked confidence that I could, in fact, pull it off.
As you might suspect I didn't have many takers joining my group. But, 3 brave, beautiful souls signed up to take the crazy challenge along with me.
We're a no guilt group. That means we have a rough outline of the number of verses we'd like to have memorized each week, but life happens and if something gets in the way and we don't have everything memorized for the week we press on guilt free. No looking back. Only looking forward.
One tool we've used to keep each other going while reinforcing what we're learning is to type emails to each other from memory going as far as we can. Then we either self check our work and underline the parts we need to work on or send it off for others to check. It's been immensely helpful for me.
To this day everyone in our group has done an amazing job memorizing and has made major progress!
For my personal progress I am pleased to announce that for the first time in my life I have enjoyed real success in my attempt to memorize Scripture. I have now officially committed to memory the first chapter of James and I was able to do it within two weeks. Thanks, in large part, to our group's emailing system.
Now the real feat will be in securing it there and seeing to it that nothing goes running off!
Seeing as ours was an interracial family before we brought our son Jonas home from Ethiopia (my sister-in-law and brother-in-law are an interracial couple with bi-racial children) our extended family already had experience dealing with various curiosities and questions about interracial marriage.
I have often been asked how we plan to raise our sons to select a wife. It seems to be an intriguing idea to people (surprisingly, not trans racial families but others outside of the adoption sphere.) One questioner in particular was implying that they expected we would steer our boys toward black women exclusively.
I've heard some pretty wacky things come out of people's mouths (people who are even close to me. Christian people who wouldn't think of their ideas as being racist) regarding why they believe it's better for the resulting kids if people don't marry "outside their race". Another annoyingly ignorant position is this crazy idea that the races should remain "pure". Whatever the heck that means.
I'm appalled at people's notions to be blunt. I've struggled within myself to remain calm as I've felt the heat rising in me during these conversations, to temper my inward reactions with love, and to strive to come up with a way to clearly express what I believe is the truth about interracial marriages and families. I've been burdened to pray for friends who, I believe, are behaving in ignorance on the subject.
It's difficult for me because I'm a fight or flight kind of person. It's often the case that I either throw off my gloves and go at a conflict hard and heavy or shy away desiring peace. Truth cannot be sacrificed to avoid conflict and so it must be spoken. I realize that, on this subject, I cannot give peace where there is none and so I must learn to handle myself well. I need to figure out how to operate somewhere between fight and flight.
John Piper has written an excellent article which addresses the issue far better than I ever could. His words have helped me to frame my response to the totally wacked out stuff I hear. It's my prayer that every time I'm confronted with opposing ideas my response will be refined and my message will become clearer.
I encourage everyone, not just trans racial AP's, to follow this link :
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/2005/198_Racial_Harmony_and_Interracial_Marriage/
I've mentioned briefly that our Home Team is working our way through the book Fields of the Fatherless . I can't recommend this book enough for a small study group. It has questions in the back and video from Tom to help direct discussions.
As we branch out to sources other than the book one member of our Home Team, Mark who happens to also work for a fabulous organization called *World Orphans , directed us to this video from Rick Warren. I though I would share it here as well.
World Orphans has an article titled The Mega Issue on their website that I recommend reading as well. I just LOVE everything about World Orphan's website. It is rich in information. But it's the haunting music of the home page that draws me in. It creates an unsettled feeling in my heart just as should be there when I consider the plight of helpless children around the world and how to help)
I'll admit I'm digging deep through Scriptures to investigate all the Spiritual implications of adoption. Adoption is very complex and multi faceted (read WAY over my head) and it's no big surprise I'm ill equipped to clearly communicate the vast truths wrapped up in the Bible related to adoption. When I wrote the last post I was addressing my thoughts in relation to the John Piper video and the utter depravity that sin causes in our lives. I do still adhere to the belief that missing the mark of God's perfect holiness does render us unworthy and dirty (as in defiled and unholy) orphans. God cannot reject His own children so all those who fail to accept the grace of God through Jesus Christ cannot be His children or God would be a failure of a father by eternally casting them from His presence. For God to reject those people they must not be his children. Therefore before faith in Jesus we must all be orphans.
A friend E made a great comment to my post which inspired me to do more searching and praying on the other end as well. Because I believe there is also more to our being made in God's image. The part that gets sticky with me in assigning myself worth because I've been created in the image of God is the issue of our requiring absolute and total grace for salvation. I'm not entirely sure where the boundaries fall with regard to that. I will not assign myself value and worth apart from Christ, I know that much. I realize this would be a sticking point for some people. Possibly more so from a person looking for validation and a sense of worth in this world apart from Christ alone. I hold firm to the idea that Christ bestows His value upon us (Just how that happens I've yet to fully come to grips with.) Something we discussed in Home Team that resonated with me was this idea that God owns us twice (found in a message from Wayne Cordero.) That He is our Creator and Father. We belong to Him both ways and have our roots in Him alone.
I came across a post by an adult adoptee at NeitherHereNorThere which was very interesting to me as I strive to view adoption through the eyes of adoptees.
I'd love to hear more feedback from all of you. I realize that here I go opening up a theological can of worms and that convictions will vary and passions will run deep. So if anyone chooses to respond be patient and kind.
As discussions have made their way around me lately about vertical adoption (that's God's adoption of us) versus horizontal adoption (humans adopting humans) I have had an increasing desire to stress some important points.
You see, while I accept and fully believe that God adopted His children as filthy unworthy orphans out of the abundance of His grace for the praise of His glory I am nearly nauseated when I hear discussions simply end there. While the parallel is certainly to be made I often notice a gaping hole where horizontal adoption is concerned. I have lately found that I feel a very urgent need to remind myself and other people that when drawing such comparisons we might easily leave our adopted children feeling dirty, unworthy, and sinful simply because they were once physically orphaned too. And, that is a lie I'm sure we all want our kids (and adult adoptees for that matter) to stay away from. Completely.
It is important to me to acknowledge that in horizontal adoption as in vertical adoption the orphan has very real value because God has deemed them valuable. God has deemed the once orphaned child worthy of love, justice and full rights as an heir through faith and because of Christ's worthiness bestowed upon him. I want to stress to our adopted children that this bestowing of value upon us by God is the ONLY way WE ALL gain value whether we have been raised by biological parents or adoptive parents. I am burdened to hear conversations fall short of acknowledging this truth aloud especially in the context of adoptees listening ears.
As an adoptive mother I need to continually meditate on what it is to have been orphaned myself. Too often I've become uncomfortable at my own willingness to fall into the prideful, delusional trap of taking on some rescuer complex which fails to EXALT ( and I mean HIGH, HIGH above myself) the truth that adoption is God's idea for His orphaned children in this world, not mine. I've failed to soak in the knowledge that unconditional love was authored by a pen dipped in the ink of Jesus Christ's blood, not mine.
I want to make sure I stress all of the parallels in adoption. But, I'd also like to beat to death the point that our adopted children didn't do anything to deserve their orphan status except be born under original sin and that just like every other child born into the world the consequences of original sin made pain and loss a guaranteed experience in this life for them. That is to clearly and often say to them that they did nothing in any way to personally deserve being orphaned on the horizontal plane.
I want our son to hear these things over and over and over again.
Some things have recently come up for me and Dustin which have us praying fervently about the next steps God would have our family take. While I'm not ready to divulge what we're praying over you can be sure I will eventually, because, let's face it, I'm a big mouth like that.
Any hunches you might have right now are probably correct in some way or another as we are praying for strength to leave nothing off the table when it comes to living our lives in obedience to the calling God has given us. In the meanwhile you can read THIS post which very eloquently stirred my pot today and expressed much of what Dustin and I are striving to achieve as people who claim to love and follow Christ Jesus.
This sermon was absolutely life changing for me. I'd never before heard of Russell Moore but I'm sure going to learn more.
God's really been driving a message home to me. Like a slow drip His persistent words beat on in my mind burrowing deeper only to spring up in my speech days (if not months or years) later. That's usually right about the time I actually figure out what it is He's been trying to tell me all along
It's disturbing that I've been journaling and praying over this topic for so long yet missing (or possibly avoiding) one very important piece of the puzzle. What's even more disconcerting is the idea that I knew these things without really KNOWING them. Suddenly, God has seen fit to tie it all together for me with a neat bow and in such a way as is unavoidable. Since the moment I came to understand what it was I'd been doing I've felt a freedom to move forward. But, I'm blabbering and I haven't even told you the details yet. So, I'll get to the point.
I've been forced to take certain things into account since my health issues arose in December. God has allowed those events to quite literally challenge my adulterous relationship with personal comfort and safety. I realize I have been foolishly measuring God's love for me by temporal standards in many ways that previously had not occurred to me. While I'd gotten it right in some ways I'd been getting it very wrong in others.
God's love for me is NOT measured by the food in my stomach, the bed that I sleep in, the health of my physical body, the freedom I enjoy, and on & on. Unfortunately I find, in truth, that I foolishly end up resenting God when my personal definition of "love" (translation: the comfort I find in those things previously listed) isn't met. As a follower Jesus I must always remember God's love for me is measured by the lengths He went to ensure my salvation though Jesus Christ and secure my place as a citizen in His Kingdom. That fact needs to be enough for me even when life is painful which really requires some maturity out of me. I must change how I process God's love for me in the midst of extremely burdensome life experiences. That kind of work can really only be done through the Holy Spirit because it requires everything to pass through a thick filter of faith in, reliance upon, and adherence to Christ Jesus.
The fact that the physical world is not always a good indicator of God's love drives me to His Word with renewed passion. Truly, Divine revelation has to happen for us to comprehend the hope we have in Christ and I intend to pursue such revelation. In my study of Ephesians 1 it strikes me how much we should seek this understanding so that we may know Him better. When I was infantile in my faith God used the physical things of this world as object lessons in my life to point me toward the deeper spiritual truths of His Fatherly love and provision. He, being the loving God He is, gently built up my faith. Now it's time for His Word to assure me of His love once more, to round out my understanding of Him not through temporal things but through spiritual truths. I feel the Lord prodding me on toward greater faith. A faith that allows my comfort to wait to be gratified until the fullness of the Lord's timing and rest secure in His love during the meantime. A faith that requires I pull up my big girl panties and stop being so juvenile in esteeming my personal comfort over His spiritual agenda.
All this is not because God is mean or perverse. I'm ill equipped to be able to expound in depth on all the infinite ways God's plans for us are loving and good. The point of this post is not to preach a sermon. I'm simply saying I finally read Jesus loud and clear about why it's so important for me to give up the things below for the greater things He has to offer.
I came across a story about the movie Lord, Save Us From Your Followers and went to the website to learn more about it. You can watch a 10 minute trailer at the site. It captured my interest.
It renewed my contemplation of that fine line between calling a spade a spade while making sure you've removed the plank from your own eye. I'm wrestling with the grayness of walking in the Spirit- if that makes any sense. Of knowing when to speak and when to shut up, how to "feel" about things and how to pray. Of knowing when and how to, as my friend puts it so well, live love out loud.
So most of you know I've been doing the Beth Moore study: Breaking Free. Last Monday's session spoke to me in such a powerful way I really wanted to share with you. If you've been reading for a few months you'll know that I have been hearing God whisper to me about deepening my prayer walk with Him. These points from the study just absolutely spoke to me about how to go about doing that.
Beth says in BF: (my notes are in italics)
Our prayers become more powerful when we are acquainted with:So this is where my husband and I are at the moment. Really digging into the Word and learning all over again, it seems, to pray.
-God's personality. (see Neh 1:4-7) She says to look for "God is..." in the Bible and
take it seriously. Study what He says about Himself and become familiar with
it.
- God's promises (Neh 1: 8-9) Look for what "God says..." to His people
-God's practices Again, be looking for what God does in His Word. Has there been a situation in His Word that is similar to what I am going through or what I am praying over? How did God respond?
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives,
and release from darkness for the prisoners....
Isaiah 61:1
Ah that's a good one to remember, isn't it! BTW I am loving the Breaking Free study. Good stuff.
6hrs. 45 mins. Wahhh hoooo! Can't wait!
Yes friends, I've joined a new Bible study class this Spring and it's (drum roll please) another Beth Moore study. (anyone who wants to give me trouble about this just hear me out. I don't have a mentor in my life at the moment though I have been praying for one for a long time. I figure Beth Moore is a woman I want to emulate and so if her studies help me grow then I see no reason I can't make her my mentor until one is brought to me! She's a wise teacher and I have no problem gaining from her experiences.) It called Breaking Free. I am not entirely sure what the Lord will lead me to break free of this study BUT I am convinced that with my current focus being directed toward a fasted lifestyle there will be much relevance in the study for me. I am super excited about this one as I have heard MANY testimonies of the ministry that has come out of the study in the lives of women all over the world (you can read those at the LPM blog archives.
My freind Brooke and I will likely be Kim's most roudy "students" but we'll try to contain ourselves, lest the BF group want to break free of us! HEHE
PS- my spell check has not been working for quite a while. I am the QUEEN of typos. I try to go through and look my posts over but I must apologize as I have missed many. I don't know what the deal is so please bear with me!
Life has been hard for me lately. Things have been more than difficult is nearly every erea of our life these days and my husband and I are definitely feeling hard pressed under the weight. We both feel discouraged.
This is for us and for anyone else under threat of becoming too discouraged by their trials, troubles and cares:
Exodus 6:6-9 (NLT)
6 “Therefore, say to the people of Israel: ‘I am the Lord. I will free you from your oppression and will rescue you from your slavery in Egypt. I will redeem you with a powerful arm and great acts of judgment. 7 I will claim you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God who has freed you from your oppression in Egypt. 8 I will bring you into the land I swore to give to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I will give it to you as your very own possession. I am the Lord!’”
9 So Moses told the people of Israel what the Lord had said, but they refused to listen anymore. They had become too discouraged by the brutality of their slavery. (emphasis mine)
It's tough. You are weary, yes?! But don't give up an inch. The truth is God willed that the slaves were going to be set free. That means they were to be free indeed, no matter what. It was only a matter of what their track record of faith would be like during the wait. Would they listen and believe or would they grow so discouraged and so focused on their misery that they would refuse to find comfort in the Comforter?
I have felt the strain of our circumstances and been discouraged some lately. Not because of the adoption. Mostly because of other events happening in our life right now. Oh friends, I have been tempted to grow so discouraged that I wouldn't listen. Truthfully maybe there are times when I have not listened to the Lord. But not today! Today I seek the Lord afresh to listen to what He has to say to me and to trust in Him.
Which leads me to my theme verse lately. One which I cannot let go of or fail to be reminded of as it hits home for this season of my life perfectly and so I MUST share it again:
Habakkuk 3:19 (AMP)
19The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds' feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]!
I got a phone call from a dear friend Kim, who headed up our women's Bible study. It was so great to hear from her. We chatted about some of the things God has done over the course of the Living Beyond Yourself study in the lives of us women who joined together on Thursday nights. I was reminded that this post is a long time coming.
Some of the highlights of what the Lord impressed upon my heart over the course of this study:
1) I knew very little at all about the Holy Spirit and especially the fruit (Gal 5: 22 -23 ). Now that I have learned more I cannot imagine my life without having the knowledge this study brought. It is one of my all time recommended studies!!
2) I have heard from the Lord that I am to invest myself in praying for others. Not just part time, but much more regularly and much more fervently. More like daily. I feel Him asking me to be much less concerned with my personal circumstances and concentrate on what He is doing and desires to do in the lives of others. For me, I believe what He is after is more an act of faith to let go of my tendency to worry about situations and instead spend time praying for others. I will really need to learn to be led by His Spirit if I want to accomplish this. I know that it is worth the effort. Pouring out myself in prayer for others has it's benefits, especially, after experiencing His blessing after living out Isaiah 58: 6-11 for just a day!
3) In 2007 the Lord has seen fit to completely turn our world upside down and with that change has come a sense of vulnerability and real needs have arisen. We are learning daily about God's provision and to place our whole trust in Him and rely on Him to work even in seemingly the most impossible of situations. Sometimes we do this faithfully and filled with His Spirit and other times we are very weak. His faithfulness, however, has never failed and we have been blessed to be in His care this year! I have a sense that 2008 will bring some more strengthening of such a faith. I also expect to see some answers to some prayers that we have waiting a long time to receive. So, stay tuned because I am excited to see how God will tie all these things together.
It's a work out folks! An exercise of obedience and faith. I've been complaining a whole bunch lately. My muscles are weak, underdeveloped and tired. I'd really like to sit down on the bench and rest for a while but this is LIFE and there is no dress rehearsal. I have developed a little saying for myself in these moments when I feel "weary of doing good." That is I tell myself,
"You'll rest in heaven."
Today I have been encouraged and so I am feeling up. But I am warning you, my flesh is resisting big time and from one moment to the next I may find myself battling hard to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ (2 Cor 10:5) I told a friend jokingly that at times I feel spiritually bi-polar, and that is just not a place a follower of Christ should be.
To everyone who commented on my last post thanks for your solidarity. I appreciate your encouragements.
Last night the Lord really spoke to my heart about His authority. I am doing the Beth Moore study Living Beyond Yourself ( I HIGHLY recommend it. It is a study of the fruit of the Spirit and it has been amazing) Beth noted that many times when scripture talks about peace or the peace of Christ it is associated with the rule of Christ.
That struck a cord with me. I have obviously been struggling with those things that are beyond my control. I have been struggling with things that are in the "hands" of other people to do on our behalf. I haven't had peace about those situations because I have been so busy complaining about it instead of focusing on the LORD and relinquishing it under His authority. The fact is He is Lord over everything even SW and HS Corrds. If I find myself experiencing a rub and not feeling peace I think I ought to search for the peace of God which transcends all understanding and transcends all frustrations with Home Studies! (Phil 4:6-7) The thing is, I have had some days where I have been successful at this and some days where I haven't been. The key for me is the CONTINUAL turning over and my personal resolve to believe God to be Who He says He is...for example, Isa 9:6.
I do well when I only focus on Him. As soon as I start looking around and trying to analyze matters of which I know nothing about I fall apart. To all those unknowns in our life right now I have no answer. In this moment across the board in the life DH and I share God is doing a work which I/we both do not fully understand. We have come under some of the most PERSISTENT difficult circumstances of our lives (not just pertaining to the adoption.) All this, I honestly believe, is for our benefit. Intended to grow our character, develop our PERSISTENCE in faith, prayer and hope. It is an exercise designed for learning about Christ's authority and our willingness to yield to it.
Many people in our beloved YG have been praying as the persistent widow did in Luke 18 and I encourage them to continue for I am sure that the Holy Spirit is leading them that way. I know the Lord wants me to persist in trusting Him to be a just God in the circumstances of my life, because He's told me Luke 18 and the widow is about justice and receiving justice. He;s also told me a whopper of a truth! I am already receiving justice right where I am, without any change in my current circumstances. You see, my God is actively being a justice loving /justice providing
God over me at this moment and at every moment of my life. He's leading me. I have been a bit of a resistant bugger but overall, and generally day to day, I am choosing to be led. He is justly choosing to allow me to see His provision... on HIS TIMELINE. He's even blessing me by putting me in a position where He must be my Advocate, Counselor, and He must be my Defender. How blessed a woman am I? And to think I have been such a complainer! Pitiful I tell you!
So today my head is back on straight. The Lord has done a work in my heart (Thank You Jesus!) and I am ready to go once again. Ready to consider it pure joy.... (James 1:2-8)
Blessings and PEACE to you all! With love, Jen
As I have been meditating on our Memory Verses for this week (Phil 4:11-13) I have been thinking A LOT about contentment. It's an interesting thing contentment. Too much and it can turn into complacency and too little into ungratefulness. Complacency has no place for those of us who are free in Christ, and thoroughly equipped to do good works. See this and this. But how do we keep ourselves from swinging too far the other way? From becoming legalistic?
I have also been thinking about the body of the church and how we tend to sometimes have critical attitudes towards ourselves and each other. I have seen churches divide over the lamest stuff!! I mean I have witnessed the absolute tearing apart of relationships and the effectiveness of the body's witness come to a screatching hault over the most stupid things. A friend posted about one seemingly harmless aspect of worship and how funny we can all get about it. It's things like that which shouldn't be a big deal but somehow end up being that way. I guess it goes back to UNITY and sharing Christ's heart. Placing concern for your brother or sister over your own self. It;s about really taking responsibility for generating unity in your church and fighting for it! Even if it means doing serious battle with your own heart and putting your own needs and desires on the back burner. All in faith that the Lord can manage His flock better that you can!!
Last night I had to really hash things out with the Lord about legalism and how it creeps into my personal life. I can easily get drawn into perfectionism in my life and it so killer. It's a joy killer and a peace thief! I have come to see that perfectionism is a form of Godlessness and sin. It's root is pride. It is anti-faith and anti-reliance upon Jesus and all the grace afford us through the work of the cross. It tends to highlight the weakness in ourselves and others. With a mind focused on falling short how can we be focused on God's power and His grace (2 Cor 12:9)
And so, I am working on being content. Not just with my physical circumstances but my spiritual circumstances as well! Content with myself and with others. Where ever we may be in our journey with the Lord. Trusting in HIM to direct the affairs of all of our lives and relying on Him to do what he does best: Redeem His children from sin and give them Life to the fullest.
Dustin and I are memorizing this Scripture this week. It was funny because we had been studying this on our own and then last week Pastors Mark and Ryan used it as one of the central verses of their lesson. We figure we ought to camp out here for a while.
Philippians 4:11-13 (New International Version)
11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Go read this article.
This is what I'm chewing on today: Am I making full use of the scriptures daily as I ought to? Am I educated well enough about the WHOLE Bible to effectively glean information in my daily decision making and to feel like I am armed in the knowledge of truth enough to truly be authoritative (in prayer, in counsel and otherwise) in my life and the lives of others, enabling me to truly glorify God?
I am in tears at the moment. Whenever I am upset I simply have to write. It's the only way my thoughts ever make any sense. Whether it be my journal or this blog I write most when I am upset.
Cathartic for me. Distressing for you, possibly. But still, I ask you to come along with me as I try to process my life through the Scriptures.
Go read this.
Good. Now let's talk.
Don't you think it's neat how God got Moses' attention? A burning bush? Yea, I'd go have a closer look too. What I love even more that the burning bush is what vs 4 says. 4 When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!" And Moses said, "Here I am."
I have been praying so hard for a personal calling from God; for a "Jen, Jen" calling. I want to be able to answer "Here I am" too,
But look what I noticed the other night: What does the Lord say to Moses during Moses' personal calling?
After God reminds Moses just Who he's in the presence of, the Word says: The LORD said, "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey—the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them. So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt."
Whoa now people. Not what I'd expect to hear during MY PERSONAL CALL from the LORD if I was Moses. After all isn't it all supposed to be about me!? Where's the ME for Moses in all the Lord had to say there?
That's right. There's nothing in verses 7-10 that deals with Moses specifically. Not as far as I can tell.
Now I wish I had a better knowledge of the far side of the Horeb desert referred to in the beginning of the chapter, but I'm guessing that it's a safe distance from the slave labor that the Hebrews were performing. I wish the Bible would have told us if Moses had been praying at the time he saw the bush burning. Maybe God was coming in response to Moses pouring out his heart over the suffering of God's people..... that would be good info to know.
But, let's just go ahead and see how things would play out if we assume that this is an experience which is out of the blue for Moses; one he had no clue was at the top of God's to-do list. Let's imagine that Moses was wandering the desert and (like me) wrestling with his woes. Maybe, the moment in which we find Moses here is defined by him desperately seeking God on an intimate level, over personal needs.
I suspect my imaginings may be more the case only because of the craziness that Moses displays as he argues with God over being chosen as the leader of the Hebrews. I mean, Moses goes on arguing with the Lord about what a bad selection He has made. Not exactly the stuff of someone with a good handle on the situation.
God breaks into Moses' everyday world and speaks to the BIG picture. He comes bearing His heart to Moses, telling him He's got big plans to rescue the Hebrews from the Egyptians and guess what Mo? Those plans include you!
That's HUGE. You'd think Moses would have been ready to join right in. But, he's not.
To be honest I probably wouldn't be either... not at this moment. Not the way I feel right now, and with all the things I've been choosing to focus on.
If I was in Moses' shoes that moment here's what I would probably do: "What Lord? I'm so not talking about the Hebrews right now! I'm only talking about one Hebrew in particular and that's me. Remember me!? I'm having a bit of a hard time right now. Let's just talk about me!" (I think you get my point... or should I throw in another me?)
Here's what I'm thinking God might be saying to Moses by deliberately avoiding the ME in all if his questions: I am so much bigger than you Moses. I have plans for you. My plans also happen to include more people than just yourself. Which means you're gonna have to be stretched more than your comfortable with, because stretching is going to reveal your weaknesses but fear not because I AM.
Before I end this post let me say one really important thing. I deeply respect Moses as God's chosen leader. Moses rocks! I would not dare compare myself to Moses, cause we all know I ain't that faithful!
What I am trying to do here is relate to Moses' humanness. I think God has laid Moses bare for our study for one reason, so we can see God's glory. God shows us how Moses lacked perspective and how God gave it to him. The perspective Moses gained better understanding of what that his future wasn't going to be about him or his abilities, but rather about the Lord and all the Lord would do for him and for all God's other children.
Oh yes. It's all about perspective. And, I've had enough of my own perspective. It's been putting me in tears tonight. I want to go to bed in peace!
Lord, help all of us girls who are struggling with our inaccurate perspectives! We want to trade in our own. We seek Yours instead!! Let us look out and see with Your clarity. Amen!
