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Friday, October 19, 2007

Down, Up, Down, Up

It's a work out folks! An exercise of obedience and faith. I've been complaining a whole bunch lately. My muscles are weak, underdeveloped and tired. I'd really like to sit down on the bench and rest for a while but this is LIFE and there is no dress rehearsal. I have developed a little saying for myself in these moments when I feel "weary of doing good." That is I tell myself,
"You'll rest in heaven."

Today I have been encouraged and so I am feeling up. But I am warning you, my flesh is resisting big time and from one moment to the next I may find myself battling hard to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ (2 Cor 10:5) I told a friend jokingly that at times I feel spiritually bi-polar, and that is just not a place a follower of Christ should be.

To everyone who commented on my last post thanks for your solidarity. I appreciate your encouragements.

Last night the Lord really spoke to my heart about His authority. I am doing the Beth Moore study Living Beyond Yourself ( I HIGHLY recommend it. It is a study of the fruit of the Spirit and it has been amazing) Beth noted that many times when scripture talks about peace or the peace of Christ it is associated with the rule of Christ.

That struck a cord with me. I have obviously been struggling with those things that are beyond my control. I have been struggling with things that are in the "hands" of other people to do on our behalf. I haven't had peace about those situations because I have been so busy complaining about it instead of focusing on the LORD and relinquishing it under His authority. The fact is He is Lord over everything even SW and HS Corrds. If I find myself experiencing a rub and not feeling peace I think I ought to search for the peace of God which transcends all understanding and transcends all frustrations with Home Studies! (Phil 4:6-7) The thing is, I have had some days where I have been successful at this and some days where I haven't been. The key for me is the CONTINUAL turning over and my personal resolve to believe God to be Who He says He is...for example, Isa 9:6.

I do well when I only focus on Him. As soon as I start looking around and trying to analyze matters of which I know nothing about I fall apart. To all those unknowns in our life right now I have no answer. In this moment across the board in the life DH and I share God is doing a work which I/we both do not fully understand. We have come under some of the most PERSISTENT difficult circumstances of our lives (not just pertaining to the adoption.) All this, I honestly believe, is for our benefit. Intended to grow our character, develop our PERSISTENCE in faith, prayer and hope. It is an exercise designed for learning about Christ's authority and our willingness to yield to it.

Many people in our beloved YG have been praying as the persistent widow did in Luke 18 and I encourage them to continue for I am sure that the Holy Spirit is leading them that way. I know the Lord wants me to persist in trusting Him to be a just God in the circumstances of my life, because He's told me Luke 18 and the widow is about justice and receiving justice. He;s also told me a whopper of a truth! I am already receiving justice right where I am, without any change in my current circumstances. You see, my God is actively being a justice loving /justice providing
God over me at this moment and at every moment of my life. He's leading me. I have been a bit of a resistant bugger but overall, and generally day to day, I am choosing to be led. He is justly choosing to allow me to see His provision... on HIS TIMELINE. He's even blessing me by putting me in a position where He must be my Advocate, Counselor, and He must be my Defender. How blessed a woman am I? And to think I have been such a complainer! Pitiful I tell you!

So today my head is back on straight. The Lord has done a work in my heart (Thank You Jesus!) and I am ready to go once again. Ready to consider it pure joy.... (James 1:2-8)

Blessings and PEACE to you all! With love, Jen


Carpenters said...

Jen, you have such a bright spirit. Your comments always make me laugh and just when I need it. You are such an encouragement. I know how frustrated you have been and yet you continually turn to God (and remind me to do the same). Thank you for the laugh about the "brief course on intnt'l adoption bureaucracy". You're in my thoughts and prayers.

With love,

The Montee's said...

Bravo, Jen! Nicely said. Here's to considering it pure joy!!