Today is one month since we received our referral for our sweet Jonas boy. I remember when our other children were at his age how much development took place within a month's time and my heart aches to be missing so much. He's almost 6 months now. He could be 8 or 9 months before we travel to get him. I pray often for his caretakers and especially that he has a special nanny to attach to who will mother him through his difficult waiting stage.
I've begun to mourn some things. For his losses most of all, for they are many. Then, for our losses as his family. For the time we can't get back. For the space between knowing of him and truly knowing and loving him. I will never be able to reconcile my heart with having to wade through bureaucracy while my son waits in an orphanage. I can only bend my knee before the Sovereign and trust He is in complete control and ask for that special peace that transcends my ability to understand.
I would like to ask for prayer for Jonas. We specifically ask for pray for his health.
In other news I am excited to have begun shopping for donations. I have most of our nanny gifts covered. I've also organized our packing list. It's very long. Dustin was in shock over some of the stuff on the list. He though I was going a bit overboard but I told him I had all the experience of our fellow AWAA YG families who have travelled ahead of us telling us these things were indeed necessary. Then I reminded him that since I was bearing the weight of the packing responsibilities and all he had to do was simply show up on the day of travel he had better back off or I might let him do some of the packing ;) That did the trick. He told me he trusted my judgement and decided he'd leave it at that. (U-hum. I thought so, buddy.) I am consciously trying my best to be considerate of the weight factor because if there's one area I know about my tendency to slack off it's in carrying our bags through airports. I tend to let my hubby do the lion's share of the work in those situations. I am sure it was with that eye that he cast a weary glance upon the packing list. Overall I am a very light packer. I have had many a gal pal comment on my ability to do so. I'd love to be able to cut our list in half but we just don't want to be in a new country without something we desperately need for our new son. It's not like I can send D off on an errand to the corner store to pick up what we need. Some things may not even be available there. Better to play if safe than sorry. Besides, whatever we don't use I can donate to the orphanages.
Never Lose Hope
3 months ago