Books on Parenting

If there is one thing I can say for sure it is that I have really enjoyed the reading process in preparation for bringing our son home. All of the wonderful books on adoption and attachment have, I think, not only served to prepare us for the task of adoptive parenting, but have actually made us more well rounded parents to our bio kids. But, it's not just the books on adoption. I have been reading many different parenting books lately. As with everything I eat the meat and spit out the bones. I figure it never hurts to expand my parenting database.

As I was talking with my dear friend Brooke who has adopted one child and is fostering two more ( we're just waiting for the day that they will be adopted) she highly recommended two more books to add to my growing collection. I will be reading those soon and including my thoughts on them afterwards. For now I will be adding to this post books I have finished or am currently reading and my thoughts on them.

Parenting is definitely a journey with many twists and turns. I am glad to have resources such as books, and friends and family!

Raising Adopted Children by Lois Ruskai Melina: a general purpose book. Easy read. Not clinical but worth a read.

Attaching in Adoption by Deborah D. Gray: Includes checklists for each stage of emotional development and suggestions for promoting attachment. I highly recommend this book!

The Handbook of International Adoption Medicine by Laurie C. Miller: Comprehensive and accessible for non medical professionals (like me) I wouldn't want to be without this book!

Romancing Your Child's Heart by Monte Swan: Largely about the authors' childhood including examples of how his parents got it right. Not intended to be a guidebook but more of a conversation starter and to spark the imagination.

The First Three Years of Life by Burton L White: Confession time, I never read a book like this w/our three other kids. Now that we were bringing a child home that could possibly be delayed we really felt we would need to have a solid understanding of the age appropriate stages and development to check and monitor our son's progress against. I have only just begun to read this one so I will reserve my opinion until later.

Criticism Kills

As I have been meditating on our Memory Verses for this week (Phil 4:11-13) I have been thinking A LOT about contentment. It's an interesting thing contentment. Too much and it can turn into complacency and too little into ungratefulness. Complacency has no place for those of us who are free in Christ, and thoroughly equipped to do good works. See this and this. But how do we keep ourselves from swinging too far the other way? From becoming legalistic?

I have also been thinking about the body of the church and how we tend to sometimes have critical attitudes towards ourselves and each other. I have seen churches divide over the lamest stuff!! I mean I have witnessed the absolute tearing apart of relationships and the effectiveness of the body's witness come to a screatching hault over the most stupid things. A friend posted about one seemingly harmless aspect of worship and how funny we can all get about it. It's things like that which shouldn't be a big deal but somehow end up being that way. I guess it goes back to UNITY and sharing Christ's heart. Placing concern for your brother or sister over your own self. It;s about really taking responsibility for generating unity in your church and fighting for it! Even if it means doing serious battle with your own heart and putting your own needs and desires on the back burner. All in faith that the Lord can manage His flock better that you can!!

Last night I had to really hash things out with the Lord about legalism and how it creeps into my personal life. I can easily get drawn into perfectionism in my life and it so killer. It's a joy killer and a peace thief! I have come to see that perfectionism is a form of Godlessness and sin. It's root is pride. It is anti-faith and anti-reliance upon Jesus and all the grace afford us through the work of the cross. It tends to highlight the weakness in ourselves and others. With a mind focused on falling short how can we be focused on God's power and His grace (2 Cor 12:9)

And so, I am working on being content. Not just with my physical circumstances but my spiritual circumstances as well! Content with myself and with others. Where ever we may be in our journey with the Lord. Trusting in HIM to direct the affairs of all of our lives and relying on Him to do what he does best: Redeem His children from sin and give them Life to the fullest.

Update on Optometrist's Letter

Remember our friend the grouchy receptionist at my Optometrist's office? Well she was much nicer to me yesterday when I called. Praise God, He had mercy on me and must have caused that woman to feel some compassion for my case. The Doc said he had no trouble with writing up a letter. I was told that he is out of the office until Thurs., but that I should call then to work out the finer details of how to get that thing notarized. Will do!What a relief.

Also, in related news the we passed our city pool inspection which means yet another thing to check off the "to do" list. Yeah!!

Scripture for Memory

Dustin and I are memorizing this Scripture this week. It was funny because we had been studying this on our own and then last week Pastors Mark and Ryan used it as one of the central verses of their lesson. We figure we ought to camp out here for a while.

Philippians 4:11-13 (New International Version)

11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Down and Dirty Dossier Style

I am having a hair ripping out kind of day today! I had a physical examination performed by my PCP over a month ago. They failed to fill out the one little line which stated what my vision is. So then I had to go have a separate vision exam. I thought that just a printed copy of the exam signed by the doc would be okay BUT I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!!!

You got it! It needs to be notarized and once again I am at the complete mercy of the Optometrist to get this vital form completed. When I called the office his receptionist took a tone of voice with me that made my blood boil and let me know in no uncertain terms that this was quite unusual and would be up to the doctor's discretion whether or not he'd do this for us.

Oh yea!? Well I just spent, at my discretion, over $500.00 to have an eye exam and new glasses made in your store, I HOPE the darn doctor could spare a moment to write a letter and sign it FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE PEOPLE!!! I will even provide a mobile notary to come to his office for him.

UGH! I hate days like today! I hate jumping through these hoops and I hate the effect it has on my stomach (can you say ULCER!?)

To Chew on

Go read this article.

This is what I'm chewing on today: Am I making full use of the scriptures daily as I ought to? Am I educated well enough about the WHOLE Bible to effectively glean information in my daily decision making and to feel like I am armed in the knowledge of truth enough to truly be authoritative (in prayer, in counsel and otherwise) in my life and the lives of others, enabling me to truly glorify God?

Fingerprints, Got 'em.... AGAIN!

Yes. We did it. We made it downtown in time yesterday to have our fingerprint cards made. We then drove them all the way across town to Mesa and dropped them of with the Clerk of the Court. Just another step finished. I am so happy!

The SW contacted me via email yesterday to tell us we'd be scheduling our visits for Sept. She didn't peg down which weekends yet but at least we know we'll be done by the end of the month. YEAH!!


Since we were in the neighborhood we decided to make a stop in at Ikea. We needed a few rugs (since we are painting the concrete floors in the kids rooms) and I knew Ikea would be the cheapest place for them. We found two nice sized rugs for $50.00. You can't beat that! One is 4 x 6 and the other is approx 5 x 7.

I have a friend coming over who is very artistic and creative to help me figure out what decor to do for the baby's room. I want something cultural yet not too overboard, and something calming since I have read a lot about sensory overload for kids from orphanages. I am thinking of soothing colors. Like soft blue, brown and tan. I don't know how all those will fit together... that's what Julie is for! Anyway we're having a brainstorming session today.

We are still making the finishing touches on Rienne and Rory's room but as soon as it's finished I'll post a pic. Dustin and I are in panic mode now that we know we have only a few weeks to make the house presentable once more for the HS visit.

Why, I ask you, did we decide to remodel the kids' rooms at this point in our life? I guess we just aren't crazy busy enough, or quite exhausted enough.

So Much at Once

Wow I haven't blogged in a week! I can't believe it. We have been SO busy it's been insane over here.

Well, On Thurs. we went downtown to the courthouse where our Sheriff's office is located to have our fingerprints taken for the state background check and found out they only do fingerprinting until 2pm (Oh so convenient!!) and it was a quarter to three. I felt strangely like I had been there done that before! What is it with us and fingerprints? Well, I hope that nothing will prevent us from having them taken tomorrow.

We also heard that our Social Worker (SW) will be contacting us this week to schedule our Home Study (HS) visits. That is so good. I need to feel like progress is being made. I can't wait to be finished with the HS. At this point I have lost most of my nerves about what the visits will be like. I am just so desperate to do this thing that I'll jump through whatever hoops they tell me to!! I should have some more exciting news to post about our adoption progress this week and things develop. I the meanwhile Dustin and I need to finish up the bedrooms for all the kids. We've been ripping out carpets and painting concrete, adding new baseboards and crown in the bedrooms and we need to finish that up before our HS visit... so that's what I'll be doing as soon as I finish writing this post!

I have so much other stuff going on and I really want to share... but I don't have the time tonight, and I don't know how to assemble all this info into something that will make sense. God has been doing so much work in our family. The LORD is so good!!

Wow I have a naked child out back riding a bicycle... I guess I better go handle that!!

Love to you all!!
Jen

My Bag

You all know by now that I adore Eyes of Wonder. I was over at her site when her daughter posted about the cute bags they made and gave the link to Amy Butler Designs which I followed and LOVED! I bought the Nappy Bag pattern at fabric.com and today when we got home I sat down to make myself a diaper bag.

I had left over toille from a window valance I made for the hall bath so I just ran out and got some basic cotton fabric to coordinate and whipped up this bag. I'm in love, and I am totally hooked! My next project: I need to make another one for my dearest sister who is due the beginning of November with another nephew for me to love on.

Wonderful Weekend

The lovely rose Dustin gave me.
The grill of an old Brush make car

Well, Dustin and I had a wonderful time in Prescott. We enjoyed every bit of our time together and were so relaxed we couldn't get over it! The hotel was decent. Being historic it had an old time elevator that had no doors on it save the door to each floor. The hotel staff had to operate the elevator. I felt like I was in an old Turner classic movie, the kind I used to watch with my grandma. So fun!

Our room was tiny (totally to be expected in a historic building) and so was everything else for that matter. We were on the fourth floor.The bathroom had a sink which gulped the water down the drain for the full four floors long after the water flow was shut off. There was a strange constant buzzing, and when the a/c kicked on I felt as if I were standing near a jet engine. Dustin and I decided it all added to the charm (although, to be honest, the Wigwam Resort's summer rates are comparable to what we paid to stay at the Hassayampa Inn and the accommodations are a league above the inn's)

We got up nice and early Saturday and had a beautiful breakfast.Dustin got me that beautiful pink rose and it was the most fragrant rose I think I've ever smelled. It filled our whole room with it aroma.

We headed out after breakfast to go antiquing. I found the most amazing thing while shopping. My maternal grandfather was the first of his family to be born in the U.S. His parents were from Lucca, Italy. While in an antique store I found an old picture out of an architectural magazine of a basilica in Lucca, Italy. I bought if for my mom as a thank you gift for babysitting our girls this weekend. She was thrilled when we gave it to her today and I felt blessed that I ran into such a treasure. I mean, what a real blessing!

We happened upon a classic car show and stopped to wander amongst the various oldies. It was so much fun. There were cars ranging from the 30's all the way through the 80's.

Next was lunch at a great restaurant. It was so fun to laugh with my best friend and just sit around lunching, laughing and enjoying the other's company (as apposed to the usual routine scarfing down our food before the kids have their fill of sitting still.)

We then went off to fish and picnic at Goldwater Lake. It was all so great!