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Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Red Letters Campaign- Meant to be?

It's funny that I came across this article today when a very similar event happened to me yesterday during a conversation about our up coming adoption. I was turning over this idea of loss and gain in connection with our upcoming adoption. I was wrestling with the very reality that one family's loss of a child and more specifically our future son's loss means our future gain, when I heard the dreaded comment... "it was meant to be..." and it didn't sit well with me. The above article states perfectly what I had been wrestling with and why such a comment makes me feel sort of queasy.

Unlike a natural pregnancy, our paper pregnancy is grown out of someone else's loss, need, and suffering. When a woman is pregnant and can't afford to raise or feed her children due to extreme poverty that's not meant to be. When she dies because of an aids epidemic that's not the way we imagine God intended it to be. Sure, the hand of God guides and directs every detail of this life, but some things are just not a part of His plan A.

Adoption is never second best to a biological birth, please don't misunderstand what I am saying. To be sure it is God's loving solution- His reaction to something that has gone a wry- God's blessed way of meeting needs, mending brokenness, and healing wounds which are a result of living in a broken world full of broken people. I believe God intends for wholeness and healing. He'd much rather that happen without suffering and pain, but He can, as the saying goes, turn lemons into lemonade. Adoption is the lemonade made from a very lemony situation, so don't be surprised to see me cringe if I hear the words "It was meant to be" again.

4 comments:

Brooke said...

I love your thoughts. I can't think of more of a lemony situation than the one where us - sinners, are adopted into the family of God! It can be a very sad/ bittersweet adoption, leaving our old self and old things behind, and entering a new family and new things. What a beautiful situation adoption can be. I pray that the peace of God overwhelms you! Love ya Girl!

Stacey said...

I see where you're coming from Jen. Thanks for sharing what's on your heart!

Anonymous said...

Jen, Pending our own adoption I have been doing some reading on adoption issues...here is a really good book that I am only half way through. Twenty Things Adopted kids wished their Adoptive Parents Knew By Sherrie Eldridge.
I have and you will cry to think about what these poor kids struggle through, but what we can do to help them! We are about to start moving into our new place! So our homestudy should be done in a few more weeks! Amy

The Montee's said...

Jen...I didn't realize you had started the process! I can imagine the thought process involved w/ such an undertaking--on all levels. I really like what Brooke wrote and how true it is! Praying for you as your journey shifts...