Red Letters Campaign- Meant to be?

It's funny that I came across this article today when a very similar event happened to me yesterday during a conversation about our up coming adoption. I was turning over this idea of loss and gain in connection with our upcoming adoption. I was wrestling with the very reality that one family's loss of a child and more specifically our future son's loss means our future gain, when I heard the dreaded comment... "it was meant to be..." and it didn't sit well with me. The above article states perfectly what I had been wrestling with and why such a comment makes me feel sort of queasy.

Unlike a natural pregnancy, our paper pregnancy is grown out of someone else's loss, need, and suffering. When a woman is pregnant and can't afford to raise or feed her children due to extreme poverty that's not meant to be. When she dies because of an aids epidemic that's not the way we imagine God intended it to be. Sure, the hand of God guides and directs every detail of this life, but some things are just not a part of His plan A.

Adoption is never second best to a biological birth, please don't misunderstand what I am saying. To be sure it is God's loving solution- His reaction to something that has gone a wry- God's blessed way of meeting needs, mending brokenness, and healing wounds which are a result of living in a broken world full of broken people. I believe God intends for wholeness and healing. He'd much rather that happen without suffering and pain, but He can, as the saying goes, turn lemons into lemonade. Adoption is the lemonade made from a very lemony situation, so don't be surprised to see me cringe if I hear the words "It was meant to be" again.