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Friday, February 27, 2009

Our Attachment Journey: Part 6- Not The End. Just The Beginning

Well, it's the end of my series but not the end of the journey. Today is all about the absolute joy we've found in Jonas. He is such a blessing!! We love him so much.

While it can be said that life takes a bit more effort these days it is also true that the rewards are tenfold. Everyday we're building up our relationship as a family. Each day brings with it victories and new joys. There's nothing more thrilling than seeing my son beam a smile at me and truly mean it. To have him rest his head on me and sigh in relaxation makes the world come to a halt in that moment. It brings me great joy to see how loving and nurturing his sisters are and how he enjoys them. And, the fun which only children can conjure up together fills my days to the brim with laughter.

As a student of all things my son (and daughters too) the more I get to know him (them) the more there is to love. He is letting me in bit by bit. Every time he gives an inch it's so rewarding. He is a remarkable child! Each new insight into his soul reveals God's amazing handy work. And, there's so much more to learn.

I wrote a long time ago, before I ever knew who Jonas was, that God had placed my Ethiopian baby in my heart so firmly that he was the only child I wanted. I would be persuaded to have no other despite the fact that I didn't even know who he was yet. That place in my heart was reserved by God for Jonas. Today Jonas is the child I want even more. He is who I love! I would NEVER, EVER trade a single moment.

I used to call my friends up and cry on the phone to them during the wait to bring Jonas home. I'd tell them I couldn't bear the distance between us anymore. That I was ready to move on and begin mothering him already- in real life. Well, my prayers have been answered. I remind myself of this when I'm roused from a deep sleep at 2 a.m. by my screaming baby. "This is the 'real' part you so desperately longed for!" Then, a smile creeps over my face and I thank God He never leaves me and that He's given me more than I could ever have dreamed in this beloved family of mine.


Brooke said...

Jen, I am praising the Lord for you today! God is so awesome at answering prayers, and it lifts my heart as a mom always when He answers in a different way than I expected. But it is always the right answer! I am so thankful this journey for you is growing and growing to be better and better as a family and it will continue because that is God's purpose for you! Which is totally AMAZING!!! He loves us so much, and I am in so much awe over Him!
Praise Jesus!

E said...

Praise God from whom all blessings flow! It is sweet to see the blessings now and I want to encourage you that they will only continue to grow & overflow!


steffany said...

Loved this post. You have a beautiful and inspiring heart.

Kasie West said...

Your stories always touch my heart. Thanks for sharing your experience. I love hearing inspiring stories of how God answers prayers. And your son is beautiful (all your children are).

Melissa said...

What a beautiful post! Thanks for sharing your heart. And so glad to hear about Jonas feeling safe in your arms.

Ray and Lisa said...

Beautiful post. I feel the exact same way and couldn't have expressed it better.

Stacey said...

I've really enjoyed reading this series Jen! You've done an amazing job of capturing the adoption journey you're on. I wouldn't have know some of these things until you pointed them out. Thank you for always being to open and honest about what's happening in your family. It's takes courage to put yourself out there!

Steve and Anna said...

Thanks for your "series" Jen! I appreciate you and your writing so much! Thinking of you today and praying for you and your family!