A Happy Mess

I used to wonder if I was identity confused. Then, I took a personality test which confirmed it.

No, really. I got conflicting results.

I am both an introvert and an extrovert. I am Melancholy and Sanguine in one.

I like to believe that in actuality I am just a VERY complicated woman. My husband confirms it..... and so it must be true! I'm intricate, that's all. Who isn't? Therefore I believe that neither I, nor anyone else, can be summed up by some silly little personality test (okay that's the melancholy in me talking... the sanguine thinks they're just for fun.) Thankfully the good Lord "gets me" and often times untangles me. Praise!

Plain and simple: I have a difficult time answering questions about myself.Partly because I am pathetically unable to give simple answers to simple questions. (Hey people I have never claimed not to need an editor, you know this! I always admit to being wordy!) I don't have a single favorite color, song, movie ANYTHING. Not even food. It's just sad.

I can't narrow anything down to a single thing. You should hear the arguments that go on in my head when I first try. I've tried to be a one word answer kinda girl but I end up feeling like I'm in denial of the other parts of myself if I only list one item. Even when I try to list just a few things about myself it seems there are never enough words to satisfy the two conflicting parts of my personality at once.

I usually try to spare the world the drama and skip answering questions about myself. Today, despite everything withing me screaming that I shouldn't attempt this I'm going to attempt to tackle the questions that for most people are a breeze to answer.

The Sanguine in me would love to say that her favorite food is chocolate but Melancholy knows it's whatever she's in the mood for that is suitable to the occasion (don't even get started with Melancholy about healthy vs. yummy or she will be forced to retreat to someplace quiet and examine her deep longings for Giordano's pizza)

If it's movies we're talking about Sanguine wants you to know Pride and Prejudice or anything Jane Austen works for her. Yet, Melancholy votes Saving Private Ryan and asks her dear husband not to remind the reader of the fact that he busted her at 1am last week watching said film with tears streaming and in hysterics, to which she could only reply, "I HATE this movie!"

"Then come to bed." Hubby gently suggested.

"NO! I can't!! I HAVE to watch it through the end." (for the umteenth time)

My kids often ask me what my favorite color is. Even that is a tough one for me to answer. I like them all. I don't have a favorite. I am drawn to bright colors. My home is painted with lively hues. Though, when it comes to clothes, Melancholy usually does the shopping. Consequently I wear a lot of black and neutrals.

My music taste varies greatly. There isn't a genre I don't have a favorite artist in. Melancholy loves songs like Not Dark Yet by Bob Dylan or How's The World Treating You by Alison Krauss and James Taylor,

Sanguine wants you to know she thinks the world is a brighter place because Ralph Thamar's music is in it (my favorite song Mi Se La isn't on YouTube but here's a taste of why I adore this man) She also adores English Beat's Save It For Later.

Oh there's more but Sanguine just got bored and is looking for someone to talk to, while Melancholy will be thinking over these things for the rest of the night.

Oh what a mess. I gotta be brave to own up to this stuff.