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Monday, June 15, 2009

A New Decade

Well I've officially entered into a new decade. My thirties that is. I'm excited for the next adventure.

I was completely spoiled by my husband and children who made much about me all weekend. My birthday gift from Dustin is a trip home to Chicago to spend time with my cousin who just recently turned 30 herself. She and I try to see each other at least every other year and this time we'll have lots to celebrate.

My dad and his wife REALLY spoiled me with a new iPod Touch which will come in handy when I travel next weekend.

Thank you Jesus for a beautiful 30 years!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Came To My Rescue

There are few songs I love as much as the one below by Hillsong United. I chose this video because it includes the lyrics I love so much. The only thing I regret is that this video ends abruptly because it does not include the beautiful "A Reprise" that follows on the CD (United We Stand) so you'll have to purchase them on iTunes if you want to hear the whole deal.

Sassy Granny wrote a great post today. In my mind what she wrote went hand in hand with so much of what Dustin and I were studying last night regarding idol worship (Isa 44). It's scary to me to read that chapter and realize how humanity can chase after false gods with such devotion and intensity that our hearts can completely delude us. If I'm going to be seeking I'd like to know that I'm seeking the One True God. If I'm not seeking Him and am, instead, tracking idols then I want the LORD to shake my delusions loose and put me on His scent instead.

At times I feel so desperate over my endless capacity to sin. It's tempting to feel like I'll never see the day when Christ truly rules on the throne of my heart ENTIRELY. But then I remember that it was He Who saved me. He sought me out. And, He came to my rescue!

Thank you Jesus!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

6 Months

I have so much to tell you regarding our attachment in this family as we near our six month post placement anniversary. And, it's all WONDERFUL. I've said it before that families tell us there are remarkable changes in attachment at the 3 and 6 month markers but silly ole me I've still been surprised when it happened to us.

For a couple for weeks now I've noticed a greater level of interaction between myself and Jonas. I'm not sure when it happened but I've begun to thoroughly enjoy my son. Now, that might sound strange and I'd like to clarify. In the first few months with him it was, for me, about expressing unconditional love despite some rejection on Jonas' part. Things then transitioned into Jonas trusting me to meet his needs and now, sweetest of all, I can tell I'm becoming momma in his eyes! Even strangers are able to make the connection that I'm his mother and not just the babysitter by our interactions lately. Just a few short months ago I couldn't envision us getting to this place within a few years time. But here we are today, by God's grace, a thriving, loving, ATTACHING family.

Jonas still prefers to have daddy hold him whenever given the choice but I'm a very close second and am perfectly content with that place. It's sweet for me to observe the intricacies of the budding daddy/son relationship as it is obviously unique compared to the three daddy/daughter relationships in our family. I tease Dustin that my intention in getting a son was to turn him into a momma's boy being that he had long enjoyed the limelight of three devoted daughters but now that wasn't enough, he went and stole my boy away too. Truly, I feel so blessed to have the father of my children be their hero! God gave me all I ever imagined and MORE in Dustin as the father of our children.

Looking back I don't think I can ever understate how terribly frightening and stressful the transition into our home was for Jonas. While I KNEW it was stressful it's only in hindsight, with the knowledge of his true personality, that I can see how much the stress altered him during that time. Everyday new aspects of our son's personality emerge as he settles into his place in the family. What wonderful joys these discoveries have brought!

Jonas is sensitive, intuitive, affectionate, inquisitive, determined, and able to hang tough with his big sisters. Lately Jo wants to be wherever they are and he's not content just to watch. He wants to be in the middle of the action. Our son has an independent spirit (which I've known from the start) which keeps him interested in learning new skills. Jonas sure does enjoy cheers from his entourage whenever he performs a new trick. Just the other day the wild child climbed on top of a bench at the girls' school table. There he stood (with less than 24 hours under his belt of being able to stand steadily upright and take not more than 5 steps in a row before falling over) teetering back and forth, clapping and cheering as if to show his sisters the way to do his deed justice. Of course this only endeared the act to them more and produced rave reviews of his exploits. (If they don't stop encouraging him I can easily see them leading him to pursue a career as the youngest stunt man in recorded history...... a la Red Bull or something)

In everything we are so proud of the girls as well. They have shown remarkable resilience. They never begrudged Jonas the extra time he needed to spend with us and showed themselves to be extremely patient. It's safe to say they are enthralled with their brother. They dote on him and completely drive him nuts with their constant hugs and kisses. All three enjoy playing with him and helping to care for him. None of the children have expressed discomfort with the changes that have occurred in our family. I believe the long adoption process really afforded them time enough to prepare. They don't notice the extra long stares or double takes in public yet and probably won't for some time though I'm confident they will be able to navigate through those things quickly.

So often these days I think of Jonas' birth mom. It's almost as if, somewhere deep in my soul, I'm desiring to turn to her as if she were with us in that moment and say to her "look what our boy did! He's remarkable!!" I think I long to share these milestones with her. Often I want to live up to the standard I imagine she'd expect. I know she'd be happy to see Jonas enjoying life the way he does daily.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Souces say I'm Gool!

click pics for a better view

Rienne wanted to get a jump start on my birthday celebration so she made me a card a little early (my b-day is next Sat). The back says "My mom is Gool!".... which I'm pretty sure is a HUGE compliment.

I love the inside, especially the don't sleep, wake up part, and the no ice cream, let's get cake part. :-)

- I LOVE being a mom!!!!!!!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Next Steps?

Some things have recently come up for me and Dustin which have us praying fervently about the next steps God would have our family take. While I'm not ready to divulge what we're praying over you can be sure I will eventually, because, let's face it, I'm a big mouth like that.

Any hunches you might have right now are probably correct in some way or another as we are praying for strength to leave nothing off the table when it comes to living our lives in obedience to the calling God has given us. In the meanwhile you can read THIS post which very eloquently stirred my pot today and expressed much of what Dustin and I are striving to achieve as people who claim to love and follow Christ Jesus.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Pathetic Excuse For A Blog

Wow I've really been slacking off here. Between the rush to finish up school with the kids and finish the kitchen remodel I've severely neglected this blog. I have to admit I've been a bit at a loss for words as well. When I don't have something constructive or inspired to write I'd rather just skip it all together. Oh, and there may have been some Facebook-ing in there somewhere too. (wink, wink)

I do have some news though. Jonas is walking! And climbing, and falling and bruising and scaring his mom half out of her mind. You have to love this age. Curiosity rules the day even if coordination doesn't and while his life may hang in the balance multiple times a day our oblivious boy couldn't be more proud of himself and his new found freedom.

I will be writing an update on our attachment when our 6 month post placement report comes around. We have also gotten our court date for Jonas' readoption. It's scheduled for the morning of Sept 30th. I couldn't believe how far out it was scheduled but what can we do? Nothing but show up on our assigned day. :-)

Talks have resumed about the timing of our next adoption. We *hope* to get the ball rolling in January. I express that intention with some hesitation because our financial situation will most likely not be in order by then. Dustin and I do have the added expense of private school tuition next year which, I'll be honest, scares me! We had to completely redo our homestudy for the readoption and we wouldn't even be able to use it for the second one. In light of the fact that this year is our 10th wedding anniversary and we planned to take a trip and Dustin plans to return to Ethiopia for more missions work in the fall (can you hear the cha-ching with every word I type?) money is flying out of our hands faster than we can say "ouch!". So, if funds aren't available to make a January application date possible I know we can rest assured that it will happen in God's timing.

That's it for now,

-Your long lost blogger.