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Oh.My.Goodness.
Some AWAA friends of ours had their home destroyed by a tornado WHILE THEY WERE IN IT. You can read about the ordeal right here.
They are in need right now. They have insurance, but not great insurance. They have a lot to clean up and the insurance won't cover the debris removal. Their home will be rebuilt but the contents still need to be replaced.
If you can give please DO!
Go to Paypal and send any amount to vandruff.family@gmail.com
Cayolyn Twietmeyer and Project Hopeful do a LOT to help others. This time she and her family need a little assistance of their own.
The Twietmeyers brought home Selah in summer 2008 and are finally able to bring her brother and sister home. They are traveling THIS FRIDAY May 7!! There have been many unexpected last minute travel expenses for these long awaited and beloved children. Some friends bought an Ipod Touch to raffle off. They need around $4000. Please consider a donation in any amount to the Twietmeyer adoption fund for the sole purpose of bringing home Andarge and Eyerusalem. Go to Cayolyns blog to donate!
Please help spread the word by reposting on your blog and Facebook.
I've gotten a diagnosis. There may be more coming, but for now Oral Allergy Syndrome , or OAS, accounts for some of my food allergies. I also tested positive for other allergies to a variety of foods other than the common OAS foods.
I am being referred to a GI specialist to see about intestinal allergies. I may have to have a colonoscopy. I'm not super thrilled about that. I've never been under anesthesia. My nerves twitch a little at the idea.
Medical food was also mentioned. I'm okay with that, actually. I figure at least I'll be getting more nutrition that way. I know I must be desperate if drinking my meals through a straw no longer seems like a bad option.
I can honestly say I take no delight in food anymore.
Don't get me wrong. I am thankful for every bite I get! Every time I am sick with hunger and I am able to satisfy that need I remember those who will never be able to; those who will die that way. It is truly humbling.
So, yes, food is a blessing.
But, delightful? Not anymore. Not after what it's been doing to me since last August.
Needless to say, not being able to eat raw fruits and vegetables, and being allergic to many of them alltogether, throws my diet a off balance. There are many days I am unable to take in enough calories. The pounds have been melting off.
It's been difficult, to say the least, but I'm thankful I'm beginning to gain some answers. My immunologist also told me that internal allergies could be the root cause for my other crazy symptoms, like sudden drops in blood pressure, racing pulse, etc.
I hope the GI specialist will be able to inform me whether or not I truly have these mysterious internal allergies I know so little about at this point. I'm not excited at the prospect of having more allergies but having more answers is always nice.
Healing would be better.
I resolve to trust in the Lord and follow Him either way.
I still don't understand all that God is doing with me, but that's okay. I love Him. I trust Him. And, when my trust weakens I know I can rely on Him to strengthen my faith and carry me through.
Earlier today I was struggling with my health and my emotions. I was praying and drifting in and out of sleep when I suddenly gained a burst of energy. I came to my computer to discover someone had posted a link to a blog. I followed the link, read THIS story, and was beyond encouraged; I was filled with joy, awe, and praises for the King!
I wasn't encouraged because I think, somehow, God's answer to my question about healing is "yes" because it was yes for Chrissie, but because He allowed us to see His glory in such a seemingly dark place, am impossible situation.
What an amazing testimony Chrissie and her family have been given. To God alone be the glory.
And that is what this is about- God's glory. No matter what form it takes, this life, for me, is ALL about His glory. I KNOW I will get to see the fullness of His glory some day. I see it in part already.
That is enough for today.
I am greatly blessed by the presence of Jesus in my life. I know He is NEAR me even in my affliction.
...... It is good to be NEAR God.
Hi friends,
I've been a major slacker here at my beBOLD blog. There are a few reasons for that. At the top of that list is a new collective effort I'm a part of. Precious and Positive is a new blog which consists of several authors writing about how good life can be with children who are HIV positive. If you haven't gone over to check out the blog go there NOW. No seriously, please say hello to us over there. And, hey, why not give us a shout out on your own blog. I promise you we'll be SUPER appreciative.
I wanted to let my most dedicated readers know a couple of things. First, I am going to get my own bloggy upgrade the end of May. Yes, I'm whisking a good friend of mine away for a night at a resort here in town, where we'll be busy doing some poolside relaxation techniques among other things. "Other things" being Julie is going to revamp my whole blog for me- awesome friend that she is.
Isn't that exciting? Well, it is for me anyway.
I'm doing the revamp for a couple of reasons.
When I began blogging it was, like, me and 2 other readers. It was personal even though it was public. I had no real purpose or reason for writing a blog, other than it was a natural extension of all the writing I did in my personal life.
Now, things are different. I sense God calling me to be more purposeful with my writing, and I sense that it I'm to be using it to bless others. In that vein I have been working on some devotionals for adoptive parents. Beginning in May I will be offering those weekly at my spiffy new blog site.
I will continue to write personal posts as the Lord directs and, of course, I will keep everyone updated on the adoption front.
I have also written a children's book which is now being sketched by an illustrator. It has a message I believe in and it's one that the Lord literally gifted to me nearly over night. The story aims to help give adopted children a positive way to relate their own adoption stories to peers. I have lots more to tell you related to the book in the future, but for now I'd love for my faithful blog friends to keep the book and my illustrator friend, Amy, in your prayers.
So that's the latest here. I wish I had a court date to give you but we're still waiting for news. Every day it's growing harder and harder to be patient. I have taken to staring at A*'s gorgeous smile and huge almond eyes more and more these days. I HATE it for him that things have taken so long. I want him home yesterday!
Driving the speed limit may not be a big deal for you, but for me it's MAJOR. I've had issues in the past with speeding. I'm not crazy wreckless but I would say I have a problem obeying the limit. I NEVER speed in residential areas but if you were to catch me on open road (where I live there are quite a few near farmlands) or a freeway, odds would be that I'd be travelling at least 10 MPH over the speed limit.
For years I had absolutely no conviction about this speeding. I was totally fine with it. I avoided putting a church sticker on my vehicle like the plague so as to not cast a shadow on the church's reputation and went on my merry, obstinate way.
Then, one night a few years ago, the Lord tested me in this.
I was driving home from a women's Bible study and was on the last major street before turning into our neighborhood. The street was under construction and the cones were up with those annoying 25 MPH roadsigns in place of the usual 45 MPH ones.
I had every intention of going much faster than the posted limit, mainly because the road was finished being paved and was only waiting to have the stripes painted on. There were no workers out and no cars oncoming. All was clear. I owned the place, baby.
I was just starting to get up to my comfort speed when the Holy Spirit impressed it upon my heart that I needed to slow down.
I took my foot off the gas and waited for the car to slow. Each notch the speedometer fell exacerbated the feeling that I could get out of the car and crawl faster. For some reason I really felt myself rebelling against going that 25 MPH. Surely 30 was close enough?
You have to know the kind of person I am. I'm a total rule follower by nature. I'm a pretty compliant person. I generally have a ton respect for authority. I am also a person who has a strong moral compass. I clearly understand right from wrong. In fact, I'm often times a person who the Lord will call upon to gently speak truth to others who might have a hard time seeing the difference between right and wrong in various circumstances.
So, I knew at that point that what I was doing in speeding was sin. Holy Spirit was asking me to do something and I was refusing to do it. S-I-N. Period.
The hang up for me now was that cars had come up, seemingly out of nowhere, behind me. They were crowing in together, anxious to have me move faster. I was acutely aware that my obedience would be slowing others down, that they would be inconvenienced by it, that they might even dislike me because of it. (Feel free to analyze away about the deeper significance of those issues)
In response to the peer pressure I sorta half "obeyed" by keeping the pace at 30 MPH. Of course there's no way to be halfway obedient. It's all or nothing.
I failed the test.
As crumby as I felt about failing the test, soon I forgot about it completely. Until, yesterday.
I was driving to meet my sister, my mom, and a beloved friend I've known since I was in high school for the afternoon. I decided to use the 40 minute drive to spend some time worshipping Jesus. I turned up the praise music and began singing my heart out.
I hadn't travelled far down the freeway when I felt the Lord impressing it upon my heart to drive the speed limit. I immediately slowed down. It took work to maintain the speed limit because I'm naturally more comfortable driving faster (It's weird, I know) and things don't "feel right" to me when I go the speed limit. It literally feels to me like I'm inching along.
But, I managed to do well. I even remained at the speed limit when the freeway dropped down to 45 MPH in one section.
That was easy to do because the whole time no one had been driving behind me. For some reason, there had been no traffic behind me the whole way to this point and the traffic in front of my this day had all been traveling the speed limit too. Good thing, because I would have been tempted to keep pace with them had they gone faster.
Thirty five minutes into my drive and I'm almost to my destination. The sky is blue, huge fluffy clouds look like freshly bleached cotton balls, the entire desert is in bloom and the mountains are more colorful than I've seen in years. I'm thanking God and doing the speed limit.
Life doesn't get much better than that.
Until, I saw them.
Traffic cones. And a dreaded 30 MPH signs looming ahead. (Who would makes people drive 30 MPH on a WIDE open freeway? It's torture, I tell you!)
A quick check in the rear view mirror revealed the closest car many miles back from my rear. I took my foot off the gas. It didn't take long for my beastly SUV to make the adjustment. I was just about 5-7 MPH withing the target when I decided to glance in the rear view mirror once again.
Dang if that blue car hadn't caught up with me already. It was just about to approach my tailgating discomfort zone.
If you could have understood what was going on in my mind I'm fairly confident you would have been laughing at me. Picture me gritting my teeth and praying with all my heart, "I can do this! I WILL obey you Jesus.... I'm not going to look in my rear view mirror again. I'm just going to look at the road and the speedometer."
Oh, in that moment a battle was raging! I'm thankful temptation isn't the same as sin. Lord knows I was so tempted to slam my foot on that gas pedal and tear out of there. But then, despite my best efforts, I checked the rear view mirror once more.
What did I see? That blue car had backed off at least 50 feet.
And guess what else? There was a line of about 10 cars pressing hard behind that blue car, willing it to move faster.
Do you know I broke down in tears? I couldn't see them with my eyes, but I'm pretty sure angels were holding that blue car back for me. I was so humbled and full of praises. God knew how much I was struggling and made a way for me to be able to obey.
Two things I'm taking away from this seemingly mundane drive to my lunch date.
1) God is always the impetus for our obedience. We were dead in our sins until He made us alive in Christ. It's His mercy that enables us to obey Him in the first place. If I need help I can call on His grace and mercy anytime, because He's rooting for me. He wants me to obey as much as I want to obey, and will make a way for me. 1 Cor 10:13
2) This event made me consider deeply leaders in the Church. I'm thankful for leaders of our faith who are willing to step out and hold back the waves of opposition for those of us who are weaker and need the help. I think all of us will need the help of another at one time or another in many different ways. I pray that by Jesus name and the Power of the Holy Spirit I can one day be used of God to be that kind of help for another. For now, I'm just thankful someone else stood their ground against the pressure of the masses.
So now that I've shared my story I wonder how many of you out there might have a similar experience? Either struggling with temptation and finding the Lord provided you with a way out, or doing a seemingly mundane task only to find God was waiting there to teach you a major spiritual lesson.... Please share! I'd love to hear.
In closing I'm going to leave you with the most chees-tastic song ever. When my sister and I were kids there were many a Sunday we were treated to our music minister's wife singing an ear piercing falsetto rendition of this song. (The woman used vibrato like an assault weapon, I tell you!)
I was in danger of forgetting about it completely when it came to mind during the writing of this post. Today, I find a new affection for this little gem. (Especially in an octave that doesn't make my ears bleed)
Enjoy! ;-)
Yes, the title of today's post says it all. I'm dry for today. There is nothing much happening that's post worthy. I've got nothing.
Well, that may not be entirely accurate. Jonas did just dump an entire bowl of dry cereal all over my floor.
That's something.
We're waiting for news of a court date.
That's something.
We had a wonderful Easter celebration.
That's something, too.
Tonight is my first Girl Scout meeting as troop co-leader of a brand new troop. (Seriously, what have I gotten myself into?)
Again, I believe that qualifies as something.
Not that any of this is all that exciting to read about. However, I am working on some important articles and revamping some posts that I think you'll want to check out. Those should be up soon, so be sure to check back later.
With the rule change in Ethiopia requiring two trips to the country comes the need for us to raise a bit more funds for adoption travel.
To help supplement our income a gracious friend of mine made these awesome decals for us. Please, head on over and pick one up!
Thanks for your support!
...I thought I was getting better about posting at least three times a week I blew my streak. I have many excuses though. I'll be explaining more in depth. Be forewarned I have lots to catch you up on.
The big bomb dropped on us today. Ethiopia has changed their requirements for international adoptions. They now require families to be present for court. This means we will be traveling anywhere from 4-12 weeks after our dossier arrives in Ethiopia (this is because we will already have our referral for A*. A referral is the official way of saying we've been matched with him)
After court we will have to leave our little guy (unless Dustin and I decide we want to stay in country longer) and wait until the government conducts another investigation which could take anywhere from 2 1/2- 3 months.
So we could be traveling back to Ethiopia fairly soon here. Stay tuned for updates :-)
We are still waiting for our Police Clearance letters to arrive. We can't move forward until those get here, so please keep praying friends!
In other news guess who signed up to co-lead a Girl Scout troop? Yup. I'm a little nervous but very thankful I have a great co-leader to team up with. I'm curious as to how much time this will eat up during my week? I am praying that once we find our groove it won't be more than a few hours a month for prep work.
Also, aside from being on the Board of Directors for the AZ branch of America World Adoption Association Dustin and I will be helping out as Associates holding Adoption Seminars. We are really looking forward to that!
Did I mention I am also helping my mom plan an adoption conference at her church in November?
Oh, and I'm planning to attend the orphan summit in Minneapolis the end of April. I'm super excited about that because Project Hopeful is going to be there. And, I love Project Hopeful!
Gee is there anything else?!
Nope I think that pretty much covers things.
As you can tell I've been pretty busy here lately. I've got lots on my plate but all very worthwhile things.
This week is spring break for the girlsies so we're enjoying sleeping in, staying up late and goofing off all day. Doesn't get much better than that!
In keeping with my recent posts, I went and studied the definitions of the words criticism and judgement (let me take a moment to nod toward Sassy Granny for sparking a new found love of word studies with her fondness for her good friend Merriam.) For some reason I had always made a distinction between the two in my mind. In Jen's world criticism seemed to be something spoken while judgement was something more internal, more mental.
I found no such distinction made in the dictionary, though it seems in common speech people do tend to use criticism to speak of comments or thoughts being expressed outwardly by a person, namely the critic.
I began thinking about the act of speaking critically or pronouncing judgements over people.
You totally know what came to mind next, right? Of course it was the book of James since I've been studying there for a few months.
Chapter two of James- WOW! I'm blown away once again at the richness of God's Word is. When I came to verses 14-18 I couldn't help but chew once again on the connection our beliefs have with our actions. James 2:18 asserts that merely claiming faith doesn't prove we possess it. The real test comes from what is born out of our faith in the form of deeds. In other words what we really trust in, rely on, cling to, and adhere to turns up in the way we "DO".
It occurred to me that it might be relatively easy for us to clean up our external behaviours and keep criticism of others to a minimum by only sharing with our spouses or close friends when we feet the occasion really called for it. We might be able to (mostly) curb our outward expression of judgement toward others. That might make us feel like we've really accomplished something; like maybe we've done enough. We might be tempted to say, "I'm not judging others."
We must remember that faith without deeds is useless, though.
I think it is so very dangerous for Christians to stop at mere external behaviours, because we know it's only a matter of time until what is truly in our heart flows right out our mouth. We are also aware that God is interested in the contents of our hearts. It would be faulty of us to assume that the deeds, here, would be merely external. The deeds of our hearts may be far more treacherous, running amuck and unchecked if we define them merely by superficial parameters.
Of course it's a double edged sword because we often gauge real change by visible "fruit" in a person's life. We are told that we will know a person by their fruit. Though sometimes we have to wait a LONG time for that fruit to appear. The temptation during that time is to consider the late bloomer a bearer of bad fruit, or a non bearing plant all together.
Case in point of a late bloomer: myself in my story. And so we see how easy it is to move through temptation and into the sin of playing judge over others whenobserving the only thing we can see- that is the "fruit" of a person's behaviour. We're reminded once again that only God can know a person's heart.
I don't know about you but all this confronts me with a REAL need for humility in my life. My heart is heavy to think of the myriad of ways I pass judgement of people daily. The ways in which I do this might seem small at the time; they might seem harmless but I'm realizing they most certainly are NOT.
For example (and you're REALLY going to find this ironic): I looked at a women who was picking up her daughter in the school's car line the other day. She was wearing outdated CLOTHES (are you laughing at my folly yet?) that were very unflattering on her. That she looked clean was about the best I could say for her disheveled ensemble. For a second I was tempted to ask her what possessed her to appear in public dressed like that. But then, I realized what little I know about anything in the world. I realized it was possible that this woman could have given all her best clothes to a homeless woman so she could interview for jobs. Or, maybe she was laid off and could only afford to buy second hand. Possibly she barely managed to trude out the door when her iron broke after she was up all night with a sick child. I don't know.
My point is, I DON'T know. And I probably won't find out either. So why would I want to spend my time (even if it's just a fraction of a minute) making assumptions and creating an atmosphere in my mind where I would be tempted to somehow elevate myself above another?
However I might attempt to explain that I wasn't intending to make sweeping assumptions about her character (only her curious taste in attire) I cannot explain away the futility of such behaviour.
All this to say, I'm taking on a new attitude when it comes to looking outward into the world; I want to see people through grace-colored lenses.
If I happen to come across someone in a situation where I might be tempted to form some kind of opinion about them or their actions I'm asking God to help me stop, and take inventory of my heart and my intentions to determine whether or not it is fruitful for me to even expend that energy.
I take James chapter two seriously when it says we need deeds to prove our faith is alive. The catch is I, alone, cannot do the heart transforming work needed to stop judging others. I need the Holy Spirit for that. So, if James 2:20 admonishes us that faith without deeds is dead, Ephesians 2:8-9 reminds us just Who those deeds originate from.
Philippians 2:1-11 (NIV)
1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Seems I inadvertently stumbled into a theme this week with the whole loving others / keeping oneself from judging topic. Once I started thinking on this stuff I couldn't shut my brain off.
I've been thinking a lot about the ways in which I bow to religiosity in my own life, and about what a fine line there is between speaking the truth in love and just plain old speaking the truth.
There is a BIG difference, I think.
I can speak the truth with the best of them. There's a famous saying in our family that when I am angry I can state a solid case before a person about why I think they're stupid, why everyone else thinks they're stupid, and why they should think they're stupid too.
That's NOT a compliment to my character. In fact I think that makes me WAAAAAY worse than my finger wagging friends from the worship service. Thankfully, their memory is a reminder to me that I cannot afford to be critical (of myself or others).
What do you think about the difference between speaking the truth and speaking the truth in love? Have you ever been the unhappy recipient of a harsh truth? Did it produce feelings of shame or guilt? I'd love to hear your perspective.
Also, I'm really interested in what you think about shame and guilt, and their affects, either negative or positive, in our lives. Do you think they are productive? Or do you think they are counterproductive?
I'm going to be studying shame and guilt in the Bible. If you've done a particular study on the subject please share the results with me. Your verses/resources/thoughts would be much appreciated.
What? I'm just being cute and minding my own business.
I haven't done anything yet
Okay maybe I've gotten into a *little* trouble, but look how cute I am!
Again, have you noticed my cuteness?
I'm not sayin' I got away with it, but....Our church reads through the Bible together every year using the One Year Bible. I just found the reading plan online for use on mobile phones. Great for on the go reading! I was so excited i had to share her.
In related news I'm halfway finished memorizing the book of James. I was supposed to have been finished by now, but I fell behind during the holidays. I'm energized and ready to hit the Book hard again. I have to finish up soon to make room for all the Amharic I need to memorize for when A* comes home. I don't think I have enough brain power to do both simultaneously.
I thought I would ask folks to leave me a comment with their all time favorite verse from Scripture or a story of how a particular verse/passage impacted a life changing moment.
My life changing verse is James 1:22.
It's so simple, yet harder to live out than I ever could have imagined at first. Upon first discovering this verse (and the subsequent passage) I realized that being close to life change without ever actually experiencing it would be my perpetual condition unless I learned to put James 1:22 into practice. It's a reminder to me that life is not about merely knowing Truth; it's about allowing Truth to be the driving force in my life, to propel me on to action. Nowadays whenever I'm reading, and a portion of Scripture hits me especially hard, it's usually my clue that it's a "James1:22" verse. Meaning that it's time for me to stop "listening" about something and get busy doing whatever I clearly see God is "calling" me to do through His Word.
In recent years I feel I've let my creativity fall to the wayside a bit. I've been active with writing, but much of what I've written has been pretty bland and factual; mostly to help spread information.
That's not the kind of stuff that keeps artistic/inventive juices flowing. Consequetly, I've begun to feel a little bit... well, stale.
I recently discovered mind maps and thought I'd sit down to give one a try. I figured I didn't have much to lose. I always enjoyed art time in grade school. Why not tap into my inner 2nd grader once again?
With colored pencils and washable markers borrowed from my kids I sat down to see what would come of dumping some of the contents of my mind onto paper. I'll spare you the details of that mess. But, let me just tell you, WHOA! I had a lot of stuff in there that needed flushing out. I was shocked to see all the twists and turns, curls and twirls my thoughts we're making.
My verdict on the mind map: helpful. And, fun. I think it very likely I will continue to use mind maps in the future.
I made a second map to simplify some of the conclusions my first map brought me to because I felt a bit overwhelmed with where to begin. (Trust me an 8x11 piece of paper was way to small for all the mess I had going on there. It was gnarly.) I may have over simplified but (trust me on this) after the knotted mass that was my first map I needed something simple to soothe me. I was tempted to keep going (which I guess is kinda the point of mind maps (supposedly they help your mind think more productively) but I made myself stop for the love of all things pure and simple.
For fun, I thought I'd share my second mind map here:
If you noticed the smudges on the paper just feel free to forget about those. *Someone* we know was a little too deep in concentration, and forgot to swallow her saliva. When she went to blow a speck off her page she *may* have spit all over it. How lame awesome is she!?
I went out last night with a good friend who works for World Orphans. (Which is a great organization. You should check it out) We were discussing how the earthquake has brought much attention to the plight of orphans in Haiti. We know many more folks are desiring to adopt from there all of a sudden, but we are also aware that it isn't very feasible for now.
She wrote a great post which I believe will be very informative for those folks who are new to the world of international adoption and may be considering Haiti in this moment.
It's so frustrating to think that children won't be able to be adopted yet it is very much the case. I know that people will be maddened (we all should be) but it is also really important to realize that the guidelines are important. They prevent abuses and are necessary.
So, the real question for those of us who have felt our heartstrings tugged is how willing are we to help? Truly?
If we can't adopt precious Haitian orphans (for now) are we still willing to spend thousands of dollars to save the life of a child/ren who won't grow to call us mom or dad?
I hope the answer is still yes!
Our family is praying through ways to give sacrificially even now in the midst of our adoption.
Today some folks are facing a nightmare. For them there is no turning away. There is no diversion. There is no flipping the channel to erase the horrifying images. The hunger pangs remain. The wounds still seep. The loss threatens to overwhelm.
We don't want to be saviours. There's only One. We don't want to be heroes. Jesus is THE Hero. We just want to be the kind of people who, when we see suffering, are willing to dig in with those who are facing it and get our hands dirty alongside.
Jesus never leaves us to suffer alone. Because of Him I want to do what I can to share in the (deep breath) *suffering* (there I actually said it) of others.
Corinthians 4:11-13.
Philippians 2:1-3
Hebrews 13: 16 & 20-21
Evelyn, Jennifer, Marianne, Valerie 2004I lost my Grams this week. (Tuesday) I had been waiting to post about it until I was sure the entire family was notified.
Since Grams heard the news of her brain cancer just two months ago she wanted to fight it. Despite the cancer's aggressive nature she was able to to live relatively symptom free, up until last week. Which was also about the time she decided she was ready to enter into her rest. It was just like her to make such a determined decision and have it happen quickly after that. God, in His mercy, allowed her to pass away with relative speed. I was relieved that she did not suffer long.
I cherish the time I was able to spend with Grams at Thanksgiving. I enjoyed an afternoon, after most of the family had left for home, to sit on the porch swing with her and talk with a few of my aunts and uncles. She was her usual tangy-sweet self. Full of wit, humor, and tenderness.
I rejoice that Grams enjoyed 85 years of strength and vibrancy, retaining her mental capacities until the end. Never was she bedridden. Never was she unable to do the things she enjoyed so much.
I've pondered over her life much this week. I recalled her great love for my Grandfather, Giovanni (everyone called him John), and how it burned strong long after his death. He died a year before I was born. My grams never remarried. She had had the best there ever was- all you had to do was ask her.
Some years ago, when Grams came to AZ for a visit, I asked her if she remembered my grandfather as a young man or an old man. She began to cry saying she remembered him as a dying man; the stinging pain of her loss still so fresh after all those years. Of course that started everyone at the dinner table crying (and made me feel like a complete idiot for asking such a thing.)
I'm glad to know that she has been reunited with my grandfather and that they are both enjoying the presence of Christ today.
My Grams once told me she would have kept right on having kids after the seven she and grandpa had already had. She had wanted twelve, she said. I was very surprised to hear such a thing. But, oh yes, she assured me it was true.
Grams told me whenever the kids would complain to her that they had too many brothers and sisters she would respond by asking, "Oh really? Then which one would you prefer I get rid if, huh? Should I get rid of Jeanne, or how about Paul? Wait, should I get rid of you?"
I laughed now think how when her children and their children gathered from near and far around the turkey this year you couldn't hear above the ruckus. Who would they have preferred to eliminate, indeed.
After my parents divorced, my mother, sister, and myself went to live with Grams. We spent a few years there. I have many memories of leaning up against her side watching Murder She Wrote, Wheel of Fortune and old time black and white movies. I remember her eating chocolate kisses and laughing that she was a chocoholic.
A few years ago, upon discussing one of Grams habits, my sis and I decided there was sheer wisdom in it. Grams was a fiery red head in her youth and continued to wear the same color lipstick which must have made her look like a bombshell to my grandad during the days they were dating. We determined that she really knew what she was doing with her ritual of never leaving the house without a layer of her favorite orangeish-pink lipstick. The rest of us could be falling apart but, somehow, with a layer of lipstick a we just felt better. (And, being fair like Grams, it really does improve our coloring.)
In all the old pictures Grams is such a beauty. Her wedding photo is my absolute favorite. She's so glamorous- like a real movie star. She wears a veil on the back of her heas with long red curls flowing out around it. Her satin gown is simple and beautiful with a sweetheart neck and long sleeves. A small prayer book with streamers and flowers is in her hands. Her handsome groom looks like Clark Gable with a more Roman nose. I used to study that picture often as it sat on the chest near the foot of the stairs; the same chest that would hold her Nativity scene during the holidays; the set she'd threaten me within an inch of my life if I dared to touch. "Heads will roll," was the warning.
When I was a girl Grams began setting off on adventures. She traveled all over the world. She went to Kenya, India, Israel to name a few. There is even a picture of her with Mother Theresa.
Whenever she came home she would tell me about her trips and encourage me not to get married too soon, to travel the world first.
When I called her at the tender age of 19 to tell her I was engaged to be married I was sure to inform her, "Now I can travel the world with my best friend, Grams!" As if somehow she would forget about how young I was.
I am humbled at how the Lord has taken me and Dustin on our own global adventures. I never could have dreamed up a better life. Grams was pleased too. She told me so at Thanksgiving.
My husband loved to remember the very first conversation he had with my Grams. She had literally just stepped of the plane. She was in town for our wedding and it was the first time she and Dustin had met. And, what was the burning question she just had to ask him face to face? "Are you a pacifist or an activist?"
Dustin knew immediately that there would be a lot hinging on his answer and wished he could respond with, "Which do you want me to be?"
These are just a few of the things which made my grandmother so special to me. I am thankful for the many fond memories I have of her and for the positive ways her presence has shaped my life.
Needless to say I spent a fair amount of time this week with the grievers of the Bible. I looked at Abraham and Issac when they lost Sarah. I studied the words used to express their emotions. I read David's psalms with renewed interest in his expression of grief.
I'm so interested in how God works through loss. What's the meaning of this death stuff anyway? Why do we still need it after Christ has come? What's the purpose in it for us?
I have a very specific memory from my girlhood of looking into Grams' china hutch admiring the various treasures there. I remember I asked her if one day, after she died of course, would she please give me some of the contents of that hutch.
She laughed and laughed at the idea, and at my audacity to ask such a thing.
Oh, out of the mouth of babes. What I wouldn't give now for her to live to be 185! Though I didn't have much opportunity in the last ten years of her life to spend much time with her, the world seems emptier with her passing.
And, yet, how happy I am to have her enter into perfection! Today I know she's resting in the arms of Jesus Christ.
My Grandmother has certainly left a legacy. As I've considered her life I realize how deeply she has touched me; how she helped contribute to my love for justice for the downtrodden, how her spunk carried down through the generations of women she led in our family, how her thoughtfulness created an intellectual family that can often be found discussing loudly (or arguing, whichever you prefer to call it) politics and religion.
As you read this it's likely I've already left for the funeral. It will be held in Kansas City where Grams spent the last years of her life. I'll gather there with all the others she helped shaped and mold into the people they are today. There we'll celebrate her life, and mourn our losses, together.
I can almost hear Grams saying, "Listen, kid, don't cry too much on my account."
Hi bloggy friends. I've got lots to catch you up on.
First, we had our final post placement visit with Jonas's social worker. The remainder of our annual reports (until he turns 18) will be self written. I can't believe we are officially finished with adoption paperwork. Yahoo00!
The good news is Jonas's social worker will also be A*'s social worker, so we get to keep seeing her. This makes us happy. (I think I've mentioned a few thousand times how much we adore our social worker.)
A*'s homestudy isn't yet complete. There have been a few delays with revisions. We're waiting patiently for the review copy to arrive here any day. If it all checks out on our end they will submit our HS to the court. We're praying for a speedy approval by the court. To have the HS returned to us in one month would be awesome.
We continue to pray for A*'s health and that the Lord prepare his little heart for all that is about to happen to him.
I haven't had much time to learn more Amharic phrases lately (I've only got so much room and my Scripture memory of the book of James is using most of my brain power) but I hope to get crackin' the first of the year. I will also be making laminated picture cards of our daily schedule for A*, including cards for when he will need to take his medicine. Again, all of this to happen quickly after the New Year.
I addition to all this, lately, I've been writing. The Lord really inspired me to write a children's picture book about adoption (you'll be hearing more about it in weeks to come.) It is basically finished (still tweaking the last few bits) and I am preparing to launch my little baby out into the world of literary agents and publishers. (Eeek!) I'm looking to join a critique group but have to figure out when I could possibly fit that in with everything else I've got going on.
Oh, and our middle daughter Rory has been very ill. She's missed more school than any parent would ever feel comfortable with. You know, enough to make her sisters jealous and to ruin her from ever wanting to return. (She groused about her first day back to school this morning, informing me that she felt sure she wouldn't mind staying home forever) This Wednesday we'll followup with an ENT to see if her tonsils need to be removed. She's pretty adamant that she will NOT permit any such thing. It will be interesting, indeed, if the doc does decide she requires surgery.
Recently, a post by Russell Moore titled Jesus Has AIDS has caught the attention of many people. I have been pleased to see such a positive reaction to the message.
My friend Lenka worked hard on an awesome post that has links to all kinds of GREAT shopping for Christmas gifts. The best part is that you can give gifts this year with a purpose. Each of these "stores" use their profits to do greater good. Buy something fun and help a great cause at the same time. What could be better?!
There is a wonderful family with our agency (America World Adoption Association) whose patience and endurance are inspiring to me. I had asked my readers to pray for them once before when they lost their daughter Julianna Ashure unexpectedly after they had passed court and while they were waiting to travel to Ethiopia to pick her up.
Now, the precious Reed family has no more than just stepped off the plane returning home with their second Ethiopian daughter, Maura Ruhama, and are faced with another dark trial. Maura Ruhama is suffering from a very serious cardiac condition that was only discovered upon her first US doctor's visit. Currently, baby Maura is in the hospital while doctors are determining the best course of action for this beloved child. There was mention of a possible heart transplant.
Please, friends, pray for this family. Pray especially for Maura Ruhama. Seek healing for her and wisdom for her doctors. Pray for peace for a little girl who has just had her universe rocked by the transition out of the only world she's ever known into the loving arms of gentle parents who are just beginning to become more than strangers to her now. Pray for her as she faces more strangers armed with pokes, machines, and anxiety inducing procedures. Join me in asking God that for every tiny measure of suffering and pain little Maura is enduring that a double measure of His Spirit would be poured over her. Maura Ruhama belongs to Jesus and we rejoice that He is taking care of her!
You can meet the faithful and inspiring Reed family at their blog, here:
http://www.reedadoption.blogspot.com/
Philippians 4:6-7 (New International Version)
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
