Annoying But Worth It

This is me completely stressed out. Brain fried, phone weary and paperwork worn. Yes ladies and gents the paper chase has officially begun. We are scrambling to get out dossier compiled and it aint pretty!!

Can't seem to get Dustin to sign a paper to release his birth certs with the same signature that's on his driver's license (seems he's switched up his signature since then. It's now just an s with more squiggles after it as supposed to a d with squiggles. Apparently it was more time efficient....) now the vital records folks are freaking out thinking D is trying to obtain his records illegally or something.

The physicians office was freaking out that our physical exams had to be notarized. Well, EVERYTHING must be notarized!! I mean, if I sneeze I had better get that tissue notarized! Even our friends who are writing our letters of reference must notarize their letters. What a pain in the neck.

Add to everything the fact that about a billion people vital to the completion of everything on the list for the dossier are on vacation right now! Oh man.... I'm gonna blow! Remind me once more that God's timing is perfect and that it's all for a good reason!

There is a bright spot at the end of this tunnel. Our son! He's waiting and he makes everything worthwhile. They don't call this a "paper pregnancy" for nothing. Just like the real deal (ahem Stacey) all the pain and aggravation becomes worthwhile the second you hold that child in your arms. I know it will be same for me.... one of these days.

Treat Kids Uniquely Not Necessarily Equally

Sparking a second post on the topic, my reading of the book titled Siblings Without Rivalry has also introduced to me another new concept. Kids don't need to be treated equally, they need to be treated uniquely, as they are made, not in a cookie cutter fashion. Those of us who have read on the 5 Love Languages of Kids might have already picked this one up but I have to say here, again, is another point where old habits die hard.

You see, my grandmother used to count out the same amount of M&M's for her children and even ensured they all had the same colors in the same amounts, i.e. 2 red, 3 blue...... just to be fair. My mom carried on tradition (but really my WHOLE family is guilty of this one on BOTH sides.) Every Christmas my sister and I would receive identical gifts in different colors. Stuffed teddy bears; one in black, the other brown. A new dress and matching purse; one in pink, the other in purple. On and on it went, year after year. I remember resenting that I could fore tell what my gift would be on Christmas day as soon as my sister opened hers.

Again here I am guilty of committing the same offense now that I am mom. I go to the store and If one child needs new shoes the whole crew gets them whether they are needed or not.

"Mom sister has more skirts than I have," flies the complaint.

"Well, next time we go shopping for clothes I'll get you a skirt too," I add for fairness sake.

"Mahhhhh-mmmmm she has more cereal than I have."

"Mommmmeeee they both have a pink plate for their hot dog and I want a pink plate too."

on and on and on and on........ it goes!

I have never thought about the fact that I could be doing my children a huge disservice let alone creating tally monsters who are sucking my wallet and energy dry in the name of fairness. Well sisters I have learned that equal is not necessarily fair and it's gonna be my battle cry from now on!

Once again I need to take a cue from my Heavenly Father and how He deals with His children. I am explicitly told not to covet anything my neighbor has for good reason. It's because my Sovereign Lord knows my needs and meets them accordingly. That same Lord of mine is Lord to my neighbor too, and consequently is committed to their need as well.

If all it takes is a quick glance around to see that God meets people's needs in different and unique ways why do I insist on trying to turn life into an assembly line of equality for my children? Equality for equality's sake is no good, especially when it's petty, as in the case of my children's bickering. Now don't get me wrong, there is a place for some equality, like the same punishment for breaking a house rule applied to all household members, etc. But the book makes a larger point that really hit home for me.

By teaching our kids that we are able to meet their needs uniquely we show them that we indeed love them uniquely we reveal a commitment to meeting their real needs. In fact, and I think all of us who have been on the receiving end of this statement would agree, the phrase "I love all my kids the same" somehow doesn't cut it. That's because we all want to be loved and desired for who we are not just because we happened to show up one day as a member of the "______" family.

The key to expressing meaningful love and meeting unique needs is simply to deal with each child on an individual basis according to their need. This shouldn't feel ground breaking to me but I must admit that it releases me from a lot of guilt that I can sometimes fall into. After having 3 kids it's easier to count the cost each successive child has paid in "alone" time. I have made myself crazy at times trying to ensure each kid had equal amounts of time. Even though God made each of my kids differently and some have a larger time requirement than others. Some need snuggles and some could care less. Now I am free to realize that when I meet their need in a way which is specific to them I truly am fulfilling them and not just pacifying them.

Once again joy is restored in the simple things of life. Instead of seeing my best efforts towards equality never raise the level of fuel in my child's "love tank" I am free ditch the formulaic expressions and head toward the deeper more fulfilling gifts. Teaching my kids to understand that I am just a human and only have so much to give in a day and that while I'd love to be available at their every whim I just can't. What's more God our Father is ABLE to be at our beck and call, but He isn't. Doesn't that teach me something!?

My kids will learn what is most important and what isn't. When they don't get every little thing in the same way they will also have the opportunity to head straight to the real source of their soul's contentment, the Lord. I can teach them to use authenticity as a measuring stick, not necessarily equality. They will learn that while I may not be at their beck and call they can rest assured that when they really need me and it's time to test the saltiness of my love I WILL BE THERE. Not only will I be there, but I will be ready to meet the real NEED. I have a feeling that will go a much longer distance in filling their "love tanks" than an equal amount of M&M's, skirts, or whatever else they may misinterpreting as a symbol for my love at the moment.

Breaking Free of Labels

Would you stop being so dramatic! That's a phrase I can remember hearing from my earliest childhood moments. You see, I have always been the dramatic one. Always too sensitive, too emotional, to easily wounded, to fiery and hot tempered and too easy a target to make fun of being that I am a very expressive person and you never have to wonder what I may be feeling. Odds are you're gonna have to hear about it....ALL about it!

I been reading a book about sibling rivalry. It's titled Siblings Without Rivalry: How to help your children live together so you can live too by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. There a section in it about not predetermining your child's roles for them, i.e. She's the responsible one, she's the shy one, He's the bully, He's the momma's boy. It has really struck me especially since I vowed I would NEVER label my kids as I had been labeled.

I wish I could say that I indeed do not label my kids, but the sad analysis of the data has caused me to come to the conclusion that I do. It may not be as often as I was labeled or even in the same way, but I do label them just the same.

What's so wrong with labels you might ask. At first glance they may seem to be harmless but if you take another look there are a few things which may cause some concern. I have committed to change. Here's what challenged me:

1) I could spend a lifetime trying to unravel the complex nature and personalities of each of my children but in the end I am not their creator, so what right have I to determine with any amount of decisiveness what their "jobs" are in life, what they are best at, or what they were meant to do? As a parent I think the best I can hope for is to learn more about what God already has planned for them by engaging in serious prayer to that extent daily. After all... His plans have already been made if I want to be an effective mother who trains my children up in the way they should go then I ought to be sure I am praying and seeking the Lord's direction, but in doing that i must always leave room for god to change course. I can't become so overly confident that I loose my flexibility in the matter. After all, how many times has God changed the direction of my life....... too many to count!

2) In the pursuit of studying my children's strengths and weaknesses I should never look at any particular weakness as being permanent. To do so would fly in the face of what God has taught me about His redemptive nature and His power to renew us. If I stop believing in growth, healing and change for my children or in any particular situation with which they may be struggling what kind of faith am I modeling for them?

3) The book makes a case that there are three ways in which people find themselves labeled. A) the parents have labeled the child, B) the child has given himself a label or C) the siblings have labeled the child. In all three cases guess who's job it is to correct the problem? Yep, the parents! The key to change is recognizing the label and how it is acted out, then reverse the action. this begins in us. We need to ask the question do I in some small way believe this to be true and do I perpetuate it with actions or behaviors that reaffirm this label? The book has lots of examples from real families and practical ideas for reversing the habits.

4) To label a child by their strengths and weaknesses may discourage any attempts to strengthen their weaknesses. It may squelch any small flicker of desire before it can be flamed.

In some cases these labels can also create competition within our families. Either because of the burden to perpetuate the fulfillment of the earned title, like that of "the good one" which may manifest itself in feelings which may say " I cannot ever express my emotions especially if they are negative ones because I am the good one and it's expected that I am always fine."In other cases the resentment of the other child who hasn't been labeled may cause them to feel they can never attain to being like their labeled sibling and may result in them picking argument with their sibling or worse yet, decide that "if I can't do it as good as sister/brother I won't try at all."

These are just a few of the reason I am committing to removing all traces or labels in our home. The world will label my children enough as it is, most of the time without merit or reason. Often times merely by appearances. There's never an end to the people of this life who tout the message of "couldn't, wouldn't , shouldn't," and "no , don't, can't and stop." Do I really want to add my own voice to the chorus of negativity my children will hear in their life?

NO!

Health Restored Slowly

We've made a breakthrough. I can actually swallow without rising up on my tip toes and cringing! This is big for me! The girls are mostly better... Rienne seems to be lagging behind a bit. She's still feverish. She'll be heading back to the doc tomorrow for a follow up visit.

The past few days have been a whirlwind of doc appts., Pharmacy runs, and charts just to keep track of each child's administered medications. We have spent over $300.00 related to this recent bout of illness in our home. For a group of generally healthy people it's been interesting to say the least!

Many of you dear friends have called or emailed to say you were praying for us. Thanks so much! We needed them! Thank God for dear friends who get down on their knees for us!

Sick.... part 2

Whhaaaaaaa!

That's not the kids whining..... it's me! ALL three of them are now on antibiotics and I hope to score some for myself tomorrow if my doc can get me in (by the way that is high on my prayer list at this moment.)

Julie posted about Hurricane Gumm and if I had enough energy to actually snap a photo and download it I would... but I'm sick people, and way tooo busy whining to you about it to do a thing like that! Just take my word for it that the Sloniger's can whoop the Gumm's in an unsanitary contest! NOT that we're proud... just stating a fact.

I have to ask you all to say some prayers for our troops. A dear Friend of ours Chaplain West e-mailed me asking for some prayer over the loss of a soldier of his and a sniper gun wound to the head of another soldier who's prognosis is grim. Chaplain West writes "Please pray for the men of Alpha Battery 2-15 as they mourn the loss of one of their best and also prepare for a possible second loss......"

Dustin and I adore Chaplain West and His family. (wife and 2 wonderful girls) They are on our minds often. The Lord impressed upon my heart the importance of consistently remembering our troops in prayer on the National Day of Prayer. It always helps when we can pray for specific people.... makes it more personal for those of us back home far from the horrors of war.

Those of you PV ladies would remember the Stockings for Soldiers campaign we had a Christmas last year..... Chaplain West was responsible for organizing and distributing all those stockings to our troops.

My children are sick!

Ok, we are all wrecks over here. Rory has pneumonia. Rienne and Ally have some other kind of funk. We've all been doing battle with some bug or another around here.

Last night we were up with Rory until three-something in the morning. The kid had the HUGEST fever and we were praying loud and hard for her last night! I HATE, HATE, HATE when my kids are sick! Every time I think about how my heart aches as my children are suffering I remember Christ and how much our Father must have grieved as His son was suffering. Mind blowing people! That's when I know it's a good thing I'm not in control of the universe!

The Internet is a Beautiful Thing

Yes. The Internet is a wondrous tool. So are the blessed sages who post about all their experiences in adoption for us inexperienced and anxious parents-to-be.

I have been glued to the computer lately. Dustin is about fed up with me. (J/K)

AHHHH! But I have learned so much already! Communicable parasites and infection common to children from Ethiopia...CHECK! Initial packing list...CHECK. Essential reading list begun... CHECK. Certificates required in triplicate for our dossier ordered...CHECK.... and so much more!!

I feel like I am making progress. Things feel so out of control that busy work makes me feel closer to our son though he's far away and we have many a moon to wait before we can be together. In the mean time: a littler preparation never hurt anybody!

The list grows

So I had a "to read" pile that was already HUGE but I now have some more pressing reading to do. So here's what my list looks like now.....

Old
Dummies guide to the Crusades
The beginning of Wisdom
Little Women
Revolutionary Generosity
The Reformation (I started this one but who knows when I'll come back to it)

New
I'm Chocolate You're Vanilla
Weaving a Family: Untangling Race and Adoption
How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen So Your Kids Will Talk
Siblings Without Rivalry:How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too
The Handbook of International Adoption Medicine

I just spent almost $100.00 on these new books! UGH...... but very worth it!!

I wish you could hear me screaming!!!

YEAHHHHH!!! We got it! We got approved!

It came while I was chatting on the phone w/ my friend Brooke F. I walked over to the computer to check me email and there it was! I just about fell on the floor! Brooke heard me scream like a banshee and my kids came running in wondering if I was hurt!

I was all but completely sure we had been denied this morning! Let me tell you this is from the hand of God! We were not sure we would meet all of the requirements but God went ahead and approved us. I believe He told me today "Jen, my answer is Yes! I will provide for you!!"

I will praise You Lord all the days of my life!

Ok, so I see now that patience isn't my strong suit

UGGGGHHH! I do NOT like waiting! I have gotten only a tiny bit better a waiting in my (almost) 28 years on this planet. Still no news from AWAA and it's eating me up. I know deep in my heart it's because there is an issue with our file...... and either the Lord is using this time to build us up and prepare us for the redirection He has in store for us or He's pulling a SUPER HUGE miracle on our behalf and all the pieces are taking time to fall into place. Which ever it is I trust Him... I'd just rather know sooner than later.... but God is sovereign, I will wait for Him!!

In the meanwhile I am sick, the girls are sick, Dustin managed to stay healthy by working AWAY from us but he's got some big stress going on, and just about everyone we know is coming under some sort of spiritual attack at the moment. Well I guess those of us at PVC can know we're doing something right, because the enemy is very unhappy!

Last night D and I shut the TV off real early and just prayed. Man, we had a list so long! Most of you reading this were probably on it! It almost began to become overwhelming! The amount of need around us. God has opened our eyes to see other's struggles not just our own (Thank God for that!!) and the number of people reaching out for Him is huge. Ah but God spoke something so awesome to me. He is able! Yea, He's more than able!

So many of us have stepped out over the ledge of faith. I don't know if you feel like me right now, but my flesh is wiggin'!!!!! It's super uncomfortable in this place of waiting. God is building trust and reliance upon Him. Thank you Jesus! He's calling us towards deeper intimacy (Oh yea I want it!) and He's starving that flesh! He reminds me that He's the deeper purpose of EVERYTHING! It's all intended to direct us to HIM! He is our reward.

Lord rise up! Rise among Your people! Your children call upon You! We want to see Your glory! Our one true desire is to see You glorified!! Amen

Do you see what I did?

Hi again.

Did you see the ticker above? I was scared to put this up...... but I would much rather concentrate on believing than on being afraid. I believe somehow God will make it happen. Even if that ticker ends up reading 5 years, 11 months and 29 days...... I believe it will happen......one day!

I happened upon a fabulous blog while reading threads from the Ethiopia Adopt group I joined. Go check out this post...... I am so glad I stumbled upon it today!

Red Thread Road: Utmost

Where to go?

Pastor Greg delivered a message about this a while ago and it's stuck with me ever since. I am thinking of it today as we are STILL awaiting news as to whether or not our application with AWAA has been approved. In light of the door being closed to El Salvador this has just been on my mind.

Acts 16:6-8: Paul and his companions traveled throughout the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia. When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to. So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas.

Like all of us have probably experienced at one time or another Paul thought he had a good sense of where he was supposed to be heading and found himself being redirected. You gotta love a guy like Paul! I mean he's a take-charge-and-get-things-done kind of dude. I wonder if folks accused Paul of being too eager? I wonder if people thought Paul should take it down a notch and settle in for a bit? Surely it could have been done better....with more preparation and more planning........

I think I am getting a similar sense from some folks around me. They are positive about our decision to adopt and supportive but I feel their eyes narrowing in on me.... especially since by all appearances and admittedly we look like a wreck! Some people want all their questions answered and I wish I had answers to give but I don't. I think Ethiopia is the place to go..... but I may find out otherwise pretty soon.

How are the girls going to handle this? Will the girls be neglected? How will you pay for this? How do you think you can home school and take care of a new child? Why do you feel some insecurities about your application process? Are you sure your motives are the right motives? Is this just desperation because you have miscarried? Are you sure you have the best interest of this child in mind?

My answer: My strength is hugely insufficient for this task. I have NO clue how all these things will be turn out and how in the world the Lord intends to provide.... but I do know that He better or this thing will be a train wreck!!! In short: I have faith God will provide despite not having the answers as to how He will do it!!!!

For me the rubber is hitting the road today! I am again in a holding pattern. Waiting for God to reveal his will over this particular situation. Dustin and I have acted out in obedience doing what we believe we have been called to do. It may be that God wants to make some changes to our itinerary and we welcome that if it be His desire.

I know God knows our hearts..... but a little piece of me can't help but want to justify myself before others who may not be on the same page as us. I guess that's just some of my pride trying to make it's way to the surface. Part of me knows my butt is out on the line here, and I honestly don't want to look like a fool! I am NOT a huge fan of rejection and I have to say I dread the possibility of being rejected by the agency. Even though I know that I know that if it were to happen it would all be part of God's plan! Certainly the last thing I want to do is doubt God's plan!!

It's a wrestling match for me today ladies!!!! Flesh vs. faith!

If God wills it, rely on it!

Romans 8: 28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

This verse is so important to me. I don't know about you, but I need this verse! Sometimes I tend to bypass such a small sentence when reading scripture and forget that when it comes to God's Word every line, every word has deep meaning and is living breathing truth. Every word is a God breathed gift to us!

Everything that exists is from God. It's all for His purpose. Sometimes I forget that. Sometimes I begin to operate less like I believe God has everything under His dominion and more like He's an absent minded professor just letting me run wild (and off into a ditch.)

Our God is a God of great purpose. He is NOT ever into wasting time! In fact He's a redeemer of lost time and opportunities! God doesn't know what it means to not accomplish what He wills. Isaiah 55:8-11 If God speaks it we can rely on it being so! If He says that He is able to, and that He wills it, for all things to work for and towards the good of those who love Him, we can take it to the bank.

That obstacle that may be in front of you is NOT what is seems! That thing which might seem to set itself up between you and God is nothing in the hands of our great and mighty God! If it is your sin that has you ensnared, God is your Deliverer. He can redeem any situation in your life and use it to teach you and others. Isaiah 48:17 His desire is to cause that thing which seems irredeemable to bear fruit (and not just a little fruit, but MUCH FRUIT! John 15:8 ) for His glory Genesis 50:20 even such a thing as was intended by another to harm you can be used for good!

I have asked God to open my eyes to His kingdom and His glory. He has begun to show me that nothing in this life can set itself up against Him and His purpose. What a comfort to rely on today!

God Designed Road Blocks

Well, as the title above suggests we have officially run into our first road block to adoption. My asthma.

Can you believe the director in charge of adoption in El Salvador has an unwritten preference for couples who are not on any prescription meds? That what the SW at AWAA told us anyway. My Albuterol inhaler prevents us from being able to adopt from ES. The social worker told me that ES tends to accept Dossiers (adoption paperwork) from couples but will never refer them a child. I was so shocked and utterly disappointed I could have cried.

Dustin reminded me that it's just God's way of redirecting us to His plans. I said from the beginning I was going to trust in God's ability to rope me in. Well, here's a perfect moment to test that faith in His ability to work all these things for our good, and for His glory.

So back to the drawing board. Please pray for God to direct us and clarify which country we should pursue.

Oh My Goodness... what did we get ourselves into!?

hahahaha J/K we're not freaking out that bad! Some thoughts which have been running through my mind as I anxiously await to hear if we have been accepted into the El Salvador program through AWAA:

1) I wonder if my son will resemble every Hispanic boy I see. Wondering what my bundle of joy will look like has me super excited for the day we get the referral with a picture enclosed.

2) Will the social worker think we're a bunch of kooks living in this house!? My guess is yes, but that it won't prevent us from being able to adopt! (I hope so anyway)

3) Like any parent wonders before adding another child to their home... How are our other kids going to feel when the spotlight is turned on our new arrival?

4) I really wish I had payed more attention in Spanish class in High School... now I have to learn from scratch and in a jiffy!!!! Rienne has a pretty good head start on us... maybe I can use her as a translator!?

5) We requested a male child between the age of newborn to 2 years. What will we get? Who knows? We ask ourselves questions like: what if the child is older and has to relearn language all over again.... will that delay him? What if he has a name that will be hard to pronounce? Should we even change the name at all if he is older? What would having a foreign sounding name make him feel like when he's growing up in the US, and in school would he be teased?

The list goes on and on and on......... I guess all of those things are to be dealt with as they come up, but I just wanted to share some of the crazy questions we have floating around in this house.

We have shared our news with all of our parents and they were very positive. They are on board with us, which is a confidence builder.

10 days. That's how long it will take for us to hear the news if we have been accepted or not. I'll keep you posted!

Brooke left a message which touched me heart and made a point which I had already been thinking of. Our son is about to be/has been conceived, or is born already. Please pray for Him and for his care. The hardest part about adoption is knowing that you can't be there during those precious early moments to assure you child of your love for them. I must trust him to God's care and rely on Christ's suffiency for my child. I must release him to God who is the best Father of all, and in the end every parent must do the same.

New News

Well, I was true to my word. I haven't been posting because we have been in SERIOUS prayer over here. After much prayer and many long talks Dustin and I have made a decision to adopt internationally. We sent in the application to the adoption agency late last night.

Can I just say that I was so nervous! I feel terrible for couples who don't have any children before this process. The sheer panic they must feel at the thought of being scrutinized. On the second hand maybe it's better for them. At least they are filled with their ideals. I know I had many quaint ideas about motherhood BEFORE I became a mother!Hahahahahaha. We experienced parents know all the ideals go right out the window when you're 2 year old drops on the floor in the middle of the grocery store to have a tantrum and breaks glass with her shrill scream!!!

We are feeling the heat and the home study hasn't even begun yet! You'd think after having 3 kids we'd feel confident in our parenting ability, but there is something about this process which makes me feel anxious. I guess it's the fact that there proof of how well we're doing in the form of three witnesses. I wonder how much dirt Rienne's gonna dish about me. (Stacey think... "my mom and I are just going in two different directions....")

Thank the Lord we have our dear friends Brooke and Jay to draw from. They are wise in all the ways of adoption/fostering. I should be an exciting ride, but guaranteed to be filled with bumps, twist and turns! We'll keep you posted!

The Good the Gross and the Ugly!

Gross:I really do have a serious post for today but first can I share the most disgusting thing from today!? I went to the dentist for a cleaning. New dentist. Never been before. Simple cleaning. In, out, easy. I sat in my chair as he began the cleaning and as protocol states I began inspecting the ceiling for any distinguishing marks or features to hold my interest during the monotony. I found my little black spot almost immediately without much effort. It was in a little grate above my head which concealed the ductwork and A/C register in the ceiling.

"Wow that's interesting," I thought, "My little distraction spot is moving. What? I think I see... what are those? Antennae? Oh my mother of all disgusting... it's a HUGE ROACH!"

Yes ladies it was and a big boy! I had to sit there for another 30 minutes wondering to myself while my mouth was wide open below my big fella if he could escape from under that grate. He made many a good attempt, but Thank the Lord, he couldn't break free! It was so groos! Needless to say we'll be getting a new dentist!!!

Ugly: I need to have 3 wisdom teeth removed! I am NOT looking forward to that! Can someone say... Procrastination!? I plan on it!!!!

Good: National day of prayer was today and I felt so convicted about my duty to pray for our troops, our nation, and all nations..... consistently! I am reminded that it's the least I can do! Come to think of it, we have orders to pray continually with all kids of prayers and petitions (Eph 6:18). I realize I need to kick it up BIG TIME, and not just for the National Day of Prayer!!! I realize that if I want to share in Christ's love and His vision I can afford to offer up yet more time on my knees.

Pray, Pray, Pray, Rest, Then Repeat!!!

The Lord has just spoken something new over me. Prayer and more prayer seems to be the theme. I feel like the Lord had just dropped a huge prayer bomb over me. Everywhere I go I hear the same message.

Last sun at church the message : Hearing God's voice. Mon night I went out with a bunch of fun ladies I serve with at PV and got invited to a intercessory prayer meeting. Went to that and really felt major conviction about how vital prayer is. Two people have individually given me counsel to be in continual prayer over something D and I are personally considering. Today I hop in the car and what comes on the radio but a broadcast about the gift of prayer and it's importance!! I told you the Lord really has to knock me over the head sometimes to get me to get the point!!

I'd love to write the usual plethera of randomness on my posts, but I'm too busy praying! I'll give you more info as to what exactly I am praying about when I get some more info myself!

Love to all!
J