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Thursday, April 29, 2010

On Food and Nearness

I've gotten a diagnosis. There may be more coming, but for now Oral Allergy Syndrome , or OAS, accounts for some of my food allergies. I also tested positive for other allergies to a variety of foods other than the common OAS foods.

I am being referred to a GI specialist to see about intestinal allergies. I may have to have a colonoscopy. I'm not super thrilled about that. I've never been under anesthesia. My nerves twitch a little at the idea.

Medical food was also mentioned. I'm okay with that, actually. I figure at least I'll be getting more nutrition that way. I know I must be desperate if drinking my meals through a straw no longer seems like a bad option.

I can honestly say I take no delight in food anymore.

Don't get me wrong. I am thankful for every bite I get! Every time I am sick with hunger and I am able to satisfy that need I remember those who will never be able to; those who will die that way. It is truly humbling.

So, yes, food is a blessing.

But, delightful? Not anymore. Not after what it's been doing to me since last August.

Needless to say, not being able to eat raw fruits and vegetables, and being allergic to many of them alltogether, throws my diet a off balance. There are many days I am unable to take in enough calories. The pounds have been melting off.

It's been difficult, to say the least, but I'm thankful I'm beginning to gain some answers. My immunologist also told me that internal allergies could be the root cause for my other crazy symptoms, like sudden drops in blood pressure, racing pulse, etc.

I hope the GI specialist will be able to inform me whether or not I truly have these mysterious internal allergies I know so little about at this point. I'm not excited at the prospect of having more allergies but having more answers is always nice.

Healing would be better.

I resolve to trust in the Lord and follow Him either way.

I still don't understand all that God is doing with me, but that's okay. I love Him. I trust Him. And, when my trust weakens I know I can rely on Him to strengthen my faith and carry me through.

Earlier today I was struggling with my health and my emotions. I was praying and drifting in and out of sleep when I suddenly gained a burst of energy. I came to my computer to discover someone had posted a link to a blog. I followed the link, read THIS story, and was beyond encouraged; I was filled with joy, awe, and praises for the King!

I wasn't encouraged because I think, somehow, God's answer to my question about healing is "yes" because it was yes for Chrissie, but because He allowed us to see His glory in such a seemingly dark place, am impossible situation.

What an amazing testimony Chrissie and her family have been given. To God alone be the glory.

And that is what this is about- God's glory. No matter what form it takes, this life, for me, is ALL about His glory. I KNOW I will get to see the fullness of His glory some day. I see it in part already.

That is enough for today.

I am greatly blessed by the presence of Jesus in my life. I know He is NEAR me even in my affliction.

...... It is good to be NEAR God.

2 comments:

Carpenters said...

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through all of this. We will be praying for your health. You have such a wonderful heart throughout this and are such an encouragement. Thank you.

Stacey said...

I'm sorry you're going through all of this Jen! I'm so blessed every time I read your blog. What an amazing attitude and strength you have, even in the weakest moments. Praying for answers and healing!